On being 27

 Yes. It has been a long time since I have posted something on my blog.

Yes. I'm currently 27 years old.

Yes. I have experienced good things and bad things in life. 

Yes. I think that I am in a period of arriving on the crossroads of my life. 


For several years, I have always desired the male flesh. However, even if this desire has been persistent through the years (and trust me it still does), I remain to be a someone who rarely have sex with males. I also believe my sexual activity or 'sexual drive' does not really control me, since I'm more of looking at the person more for emotional satisfaction.

This kind of thinking has always been with me. Plenty of my friends wonder why I'm like this, and I always reply by saying that I also ask the same question.

Nowadays, with the help of the pandemic, I guess this hunger and desire slowly fades away. But whenever the time comes when I can no longer contain it, I usually seek help from my trustworthy smartphone and watch some good old P*RN.

Since I'm nearing my 30's I don't even know if I should have regrets of not having 'enough sex' with other males, and the thought of having wasted my youth (which by the way was a good ride, as lots of people tell me I am attractive) is somehow causing me an intimate kind of loneliness. 

Relatively, this 'loneliness' did not actually make my sexual desires decrease. It just happened. 

What's more interesting is that I now consider having a wife and a family. Weird and crazy right? It's not the fact of being lonely that I'm now thinking about these things. It's not even because I'm curious or I'm suddenly sexually attracted with girls. 

It's just that girls (as I now realized) are way more emotionally available for me - this statement is true from my experience with girlfriends. They were  all beautiful. And I wasted the chance of not grabbing the opportunities that passed by. 

I still hope that I will meet someone whom I can share my goals with. A person who can make me smile whenever I'm sad. A person who would share my pain with their pain. The pain of living in the world altogether. 

In ending this blog entry, I would like to say, that just as Pandora opened the BOX that released all the evils in the world, one entity remained inside. And this tiny essence, was HOPE.

I still HOPE that one day, I will meet, the ONE. 

HPV and Coronavirus Quarantine

Hi everyone. It's been a while since I posted an entry on this blog.

To give you a quick update, I'm now 26 years old, and apparently still single. But I'm no virgin though... I've had quite a handful of sex... with men of course.

My sexcapades is actually the main highlight of this entry. Sadly, I recently discovered that my anal area has warts (or i think they are warts). I've wanted to get checked by a doctor or any medical professionals in a hospital, but the COVID lockdown and quarantine wouldn't allow me to freely move in the city. And I wouldn't risk my life going outside as well, knowing I am a frequent smoker.

Does anyone have any experience about this kind of disease? Especially in Davao City?

I'm praying that these 'warts' would not spread like wildfire though. Today is just a sad day. I'm also hoping that the blogs from other people also live up to their statements, in which they assure that the warts would visibly go away after 6 months. The virus though, would live in your body throughout your life.

It's not life-threatening. Rather, it's a ridiculous reminder that there was a time when I did a stupid thing during sex.

This is davaokiddo, telling everyone to always be careful when having sex. And NEVER allow your emotions 'take-over'on your sound judgement of a situation.

My weirdest hook-up so fart.

Maybe you're asking yourself if you read that correct, and yes. You are reading it correctly. It's FART, not FAR. And I'm gonna share why...

Yesterday I got a message from a stranger in my messenger. It was a few minutes after I posted pictures of a recent marathon I joined. I read it and the conversation started out like this:

Stranger: Sir?

Me: Yes?

S: Are you playing basketball?

M: Nope.

S: Any sports?

M: Why sir?

S: I need your help with something, even if I have to pay for it. It's okay if it's running shoes. Do you have one?

(At this time I thought he was gonna borrow my shoes.)

Me: Yes, but the size of my foot is 11. And I don't let someone borrow my shoes.

Stranger: No it's gonna be you who will wear it. I need a respondent for a venture I'm seeking. I look for people around facebook to do it. What you are going to do is: 1) Jog for 10 minutes. I'll get blood pressure before and after you jog to compare the measurements. 2) I also need to measure the heat inside your shoes 3) I'll need to interview you about your experience if you have gastritis in your stomach and what are your remedies to release the air inside the stomach..

(At this point I already knew that he was sending sexual innuendos to me. I told myself why not? This will be a new experience to me. I actually was thinking of a very kinky foreplay at that time like gay physical exams that I always see on porn. LOL XD)

So we agreed to meet at his place somewhere in Buhangin.  I arrived wearing my running shoes (as he instructed me to do) dripping with sweat from the run (He also instructed me to do a quick walk or run to increase the temperature of my shoes). He immediately welcomed me and we shared a short conversation. I pretended to be as innocent as possible and he continued telling me not to be awkward about it, and that it was all for a paper/project that he was doing.

Before we started he gave me a cup of coffee (Kopiko) and then he proceeded to take blood pressure and initiated some small talk. After that, he proceeded on my feet and he immediately removed my shoes and smelled it. (Like what the fuck, would a normal person do that??) I just acted like I didn't notice and he proceeded with the thermometer to measure the temperature. 

After that he started asking me questions about gastritis, and if there is air in my stomach how would I fart. It was a long talk, and trust me in saying that it was all weird. Bottomline is he told me "Is it okay if I smelled your fart? Like in point blank range?" I was stunned. But then I replied sure, because he kept on repeating that he'll give me money afterwards (although I never needed it, the whole situation itself kept me entertained anyway).

Next thing I knew, he got his bed from his room, and placed it in the living room. We were the only people in the house and it was dimly lit inside because of dark curtains. He then instructed me to do positions that exposed my butt and to remove my pants, so I was only wearing underwear (boxer shorts). He then positioned his face up my butthole while waiting for me to fart. THAT WAS THE MOST WEIRDEST EXPERIENCE I HAD IN MY LIFE. The fact that a person was waiting for me to fart. Because of that feeling, I had a hard time giving him what he wanted. During the wait, he would always mention that farts have medicinal purposes because of the nitrogen that it produces (or something similar to that) etc2. It was like he was convincing me that what we are doing was normal and not out of the ordinary. 

Soon, I told him that I felt like I was about to fart, making him push his head further through my butthole. *pooof*. A long fart had been released. He inhaled so much, it was like a vacuum cleaner sucked all of the air in the room. I then proceeded to get my pants but he requested for another long fart, so I gave him what he wanted. We waited for a few minutes, and when I told him another one was coming, he quickly removed my underwear and sticked his nose in my butthole, causing the fart to be released almost immediately. I was shocked because of what he did, but I wasn't disgusted either. (Crazy right?)

Later that night, he escorted me out of the house and gave me money (Php. 1,000). I then looked it up on the internet and saw that it was a real medical condition called EPROCTOPHILIA.

 "This is a paraphilia in which people are sexually aroused by flatulence (Aggrawal, 2009). Therefore, eproctophiles are said to spend an abnormal amount of time thinking about farting and flatulence and have recurring intense sexual urges and fantasies involving farting and flatulence (Griffiths, 2012a)"

That was the first and the last time that I hooked up with him. I deleted his number after we parted ways. Until now, I can still remember everything (not that it bothers me though). And somehow, it made me realize that Php. 1,000 is really not that bad. 

This is Davaokiddo, signing off. :D 

P.S. message me at davaokiddo@gmail.com if you'd like to share something or you just want to talk in general. lovelots!!

Updates about Davaokiddo 06/29/2018

It's 8:50pm and I'm sitting in the kitchen table, typing a new entry on my blog.

It has been a long time since I wrote anything on this page. I never thought I would miss writing. Updates about me, well my life has not been going very well, I think.

I smoke. I drink.  and I have sex with different guys (with protection of course). Although I plan to correct these very grave mistakes, I just can't escape being bad.

My optimal solution was to apply for an immigration visa to Canada, but I recently discovered that I was denied. Very sad, if you ask me. But not too sad. Half of me wants to stay here in Davao and work, and the other half wants to go abroad and explore the world. I think I'm already exhibiting symptoms of quarterlife crisis. It's just that I see a few of my friends work abroad and they already have tremendous investments here in the Philippines. 

I know that we shouldn't look at our neighbors progress and instead concentrate on our own path but I just can't help it when sometimes I look at their achievements. To clarify, this is not envy. They gave me inspiration to go abroad. I was even surprised about it. I never knew I had it in me.

Anyway, my TOTGA (The One That Got Away) has now graduated college. Good for him. We don't communicate anymore, as that was the advice of his ex, who happens to be my new found friend. She taught me how to move on in times when I needed it the most. If I did not distance myself from him, I would still be the hopeless, foolish being waiting for a love that will never, ever be given to me. (this is a very long story that I am planning to share with you guys soon, it's just that I still haven't had the time to post my failed relationship because of busy schedules from work and other things)
After the "sad-part" of moving on, I now think and feel that her friendship is now something much more. I feel that she may have "romantic feelings" for me. So yeah, my life is complicated.

Here I am, conquering life's battles one step at a time. Speaking of steps, I should also inform you guys that I am now living a healthy lifestyle by joining marathons here in Davao and other areas in the Philippines. I already have four (4) brass medals in my room. I also cut a few pounds since joining. At least I'm doing something positive in my life that you can try as well. It's good being surrounded with positive people, although I haven't really talked with any of them because of my introversion, but maybe one of these days I will try and seek to join a running group/team. Just to see how fun and thrill it would give me that can substitute the vices that I still do until now.

Well, I guess that's just for now. The rain has stopped. Gotta watch Netflix and chill.


See ya later guys. If you are a closet, or someone who needs someone to talk with, you can email me directly at: davaokiddo@gmail.com

My BAD HIV Testing Experience (SPMC HACT) Davao

January 10, 2018.

It was on this date that I took my 4th HIV Screening Test . For the past 3 tests that I had, all resulted in "non-reactive (negative)" which is kind of reassuring. But because of my active lifestyle, I find it hard to be 'just at peace' with these three results. So I went to our good friendly neighborhood clinic, SPMC-HACT Office. But then things went downsouth for me during that time.

As usual I go inside and tell them: "Hey, can I test myself for HIV again? (non-verbatim, but still close)" A lady approached me (she was a nurse) and told me: "Tara punta tayo sa loob sandali." I was expecting that I would be tested because I was in a bit of a hurry that day (It was a weekday, and I just took off from work just to get tested).

She then started telling me:

"Dili na mi naga cater anang mag sigeg balik2x"
"Wala diay nimo ginapractice ang safe sex"
"Mao nay problema gahi kaayo mog mga ulo"
"Wala diay nimo ginafollow ang counselling sa imoha"

I was so shocked by her remarks that I sat there and froze staring at the nurse. She was new (I can tell because I've been there like 3 times). Out of irritation, I told her with conviction: "Ah, Miss, kanang naa diay sa batas or sa law na bawal mag balik2 ug pa test?" At which, she replied: "Ahhh wala man sa batas naka state sir, pero kanang dili man gud naga work among counselling sa imoha.. Sa lahi nalang ka na testing center, ayaw lang diri sa amoa".

She denied my request for testing. At this point, I was furious. How does she get to decide who should be and should not be tested (Take note, she was not the ? She should have appreciated people that are willing to be tested. She should praise or even accept people because that's the main purpose of testing. To know, as soon as possible, if someone has HIV or not, so as not to progress into AIDS.

I stood my ground. Because I knew my rights. I knew the law, and I know that she was 'out of her mind'. Shaking out of mixed emotions (anger and fear) towards this very rude nurse, I was about to record our conversations on my phone. It was at this point that I think she noticed the recording that she suddenly changed her decision and told me: "Sige sir, tara adto na ta diri para magkuha ug dugo"

Power tripping? Possibly. But I just let it go. The day ended with me being tested. Before leaving I really wanted to know what that nurse's name is, but I decided not to ask (so as not to make a commotion out of it). I know what she did was wrong. And I pity the other people who will go to the clinic and encounter that obnoxious lady.

My 4th test showed 'non-reactive'.

Before I end this post, I wanna tell the nurse, if you're reading this, please bear in mind that not all people who go for re-testing are people who practice immoral UNSAFE sex. There are also people who'd like to be tested even though they practice safe sex (like me). Yes call it paranoia or being crazy, but if this is the way to save my life against this disease (that killed millions of people), then I'd be glad to see your face every year!


P.S.

I did some research work and I found out her real name through the HACT website. Her name is: Lorraine D. Mata, RN

I have nothing against you ma'am, but I want people to be informed by you and what you did to me during my testing. You left me no choice. (Pictures below)

A Guide in Entering the Maya World

Since I just recently opened up in the community, I have been blessed with people that guided me and gave me advices regarding the complicated world of mayas.

Strictly for adults only. If you’re not an adult, please click close now. Thanks!

1) POSTING VULGAR PICTURES IN SOCIAL MEDIA MAKES YOU CHEAP

It doesn’t hurt if you post pictures of yourself half nude if you are blessed with a really good body because of that high-class 'katkat' gym you enrolled in, or because you’re just the sporty type of person, not to mention that very cute face!. pero please naman bes, wag mo naman masyadong dalas dalasin ang pagpost with matching seductive poses. Kulang nalang siguro nakahawak ka ng karatula na ang nakalagay (For sale: 500 isang putok). Mga ganun gud? There are even some people na nagpo-post ng pictures nakahawak ng towel at yung junior nalang ang nakatakip. Wag ganyan bes. Wag. Always remember. Vanity is one give away to identify if someone is gay or not. So if you want to remain in that beautiful closet of yours, control bes. Control your posting in social media. If you want, you can also use other apps for posting pics like that (see 3: APPS OF LUST) XD

2) CLUBBING TOO MUCH WOULD MAKE YOU LOOK CHEAP TOO

Commonly, gays/closets/bi’s only avenue to look for a partner is when they go out in clubs/bars. These encounters usually end up in short time quickies. These are places that offer happiness for most of the youth a.k.a millennials nowadays. Drinking in bars/clubs can also encourage someone to engage conversations with other people, even strangers. That’s why HIV nowadays is common especially to the younger generation because the younger generation are adventurous and at the same time, reckless. They drink too much, not realizing the dangers that they will face afterwards. I remembered a story back when I tested myself of HIV in the clinic of SPMC. I met a woman with her son. She said the story was that her son was just celebrating reunion with his barkadas in high school. They had lots of liquor to drink and his son couldn't control himself. When the son woke up he found out he was raped, and was sleeping alone in a different room. Years later he found out he had HIV. As I stared at her son, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. His pale skin and blank eyes pierced me. It's like he was saying, "Don't do the things that I did if I were you..."

And it’s basically common sense. Hanging out in a bar/club frequently would earn you the image of a hooker. Stereotypically thinking. Besides, it’s bad for your health too. Give your body a rest. Wag parati makati bes.

3) APPS OF LUST

By now most of us gay guys/closets/bi’s already know of apps that offer short –time pleasures, but for those of you who still aren’t aware of these apps, let me give you an intro.  There are two apps (in my knowledge) that most of the maya community of davao usually use. These are Grindr and PlanetRomeo. These are gay dating apps. You can search this further on google. These are downloadable in both platforms (iOS and Android). 

These are apps that lets you locate gays near your area. You can chat with them, and eventually meet  with them depending on your locations.  On a personal note, I’d rather call it hook-up apps compared to dating apps because the usual purpose and function of these apps is to find someone whenever you’re horny (YES! Parating horny ang mga maya/bakla/bi bes!)

4) DON’T BE PART OF THE LARGER GROUP

All of us make mistakes. That includes a friend who shared me his story: Once upon a time there was a guy. He was 21. A rich, young and fresh guy who’s also like me, a closet. Everyone in town took notice. Everyone in town wanted him. Why? Because in the maya community, you’ll be the cherry on top if you’re the type of person who they don’t see too often in clubs. Ganito kasi yan mga bes, when you go too often in clubs you’ll be frequently exposed and be socialized with other mayas here in Davao. Positive effect of that, you’ll become popular. Everyone would know who you are, and in turn you would know everyone  who’s a maya. You’ll never run out of contacts/friends, etc. Sidebacks? Given a month or two, you’ll be a common name na sa kanila. People will start talking behind your back. If you’re inserted in a conversation, this would be a common response: “Ah yun siya oo. Parati man yun sa clubs” “Palainom kaayo to” “Siya? Dami man yan kilala sa clubs. Makati man yan sya”. Or worse, people might tarnish your name like: “Oh yan siya, may HIV gud yan sya kay kadami nya gd friends na maya. Every night may ka sex”. With fame comes great responsibility bes. That’s why I’ve been laying low these past few months. Ayoko munang mag shot2/party2 mga ganun, because by then I’ll become an ordinary face, until someone else comes along. You’ll never be the wanted guy again (LOL. Mej assuming ako. Sorry po!!).

So going back, mayas would like a person who’s not too often in clubs because they know that the person hasn’t been touched, virgin pa sa community, etc. It’s just like straight guys. Straight guys just want to fuck around with fuckgirls, but in the end, they settle for a girl whose modest and sincere. Someone that they can entrust their families and be proud of showing to everyone.

But again, if socializing is your thing bes, then there’s nothing bad about it. Just remember the possible consequences you might face if you do this though. Yun lang. J

5) HILOT, HAGOD, HIKAP, HUBO…

The only thing that I’m currently addicted on is massages!! I think every maya know about this so I want to share it with you guys as well. It happened last year, September 2016 if my memory is still correct. I was unemployed at the time, and I had met a gay friend who I always hang out with (until now). One night, we decided to chill at Zigudu. Party2 na mga bes. So yun nakainom na kami ng marami. Had laughs together, then suddenly he decided to treat me in a massage parlor at Matina. The name was  Peppermint Massage, something like that. It’s exactly located right beside 7/11 store in Matina, Shrine hills.

Before we proceeded, he told me ahead of time to remove my underwear. Ako na first timer, na shock. Di ko alam kung bakit maghuhubad. Basta maghubad lang daw. So yun ginawa ko na. Pag magtanong daw kung bakit ako naghubad, sagutin ko lang daw na ayaw ko magka mantiya yung underwear ko..

So yun na. The massage was normal at the back (sa likod talaga sila nag uumpisa), then pagdating sa legs. Jusmiyo mygod! Na shock ako.. Yung kamay niya, napupunta sa mga lugar na di dapat puntahan…. Binabangga pa yung itlog mo. So syempre, ma ho horny ka talaga. Grabe! That was the most sensual experience I had. I actually prefer it compared to sex. I don’t know why, but now I always save a little money for a massage once a month. Oh diba? Hahaha.. Ako na. LOL!

For the closets out there, you can also do this. Just remember to approach the counter then say that you want a male masseur (para sa pressure), and when you enter the room, don’t forget to remove your underwear so that he can give you the satisfaction you want. (Parang code/signal na kasi sa mga masseur na kung wala kang briefs/boxers na suot, that means you’re gay and you want a different type of pleasure. Hahahaha…)

That’s all closets/bis/gays out there.. Meron pa sana akong idagdag pero it’s in the back of my head. I can’t remember the other things pero basta. It will reveal itself soon, then I’ll post it again as part 2. This is davaokiddo signing off. You can always email me if you want to share something or if you just want to talk. Lovelots!!! <3 <3 <3

Summary of my 2016

Hi closets.

I’m proud to say that I am no longer in the stage of fear or humiliation whenever someone confronts me about my sexuality, or when someone knows that I am a homosexual/gay on first impression. I mean, I don’t shout it out loud like others, saying (Hi Guys! I’m GAAAAAYY!!). No. I’m not like that. But at least I now have the courage to talk and open up to people with the same situation that I am going through.

In the distant past, I was the type of person who was always worried whenever someone sees me as a homosexual. Eventually, I met a few people (whom I now consider as friends) that made me realize that there’s really nothing wrong about people knowing about your sexuality. They encouraged me to do things in which I would never normally do (Don’t worry, they’re actually a good influence to me). I enjoy being with their company. Eventually, going out with them was a breeze. I felt comfortable being with them (unlike before wherein I was always conscious of what people might say when I was seen together with gays, closets, bi’s). It felt like I was part of something greater, a feeling that I rarely felt being in the closet.

Along the way, I have upgraded myself (and still upgrading). I wore clothes that better suited me. I also groomed in line with fashion trends of maya (signature hair, shorts, etc), it’s not yet 100% but I’m getting there, and I’ve also started posting pictures on facebook in which, a regular person or someone with a strong gaydar would automatically shout out and say (My god, maya jud ni sya/ bayot jud ni sya ay). I’m also a certified “pahilot customer”, I enjoy massages, especially the sensual ones. I think that’s my fetish. Did you know that the most expensive massage that I had was, I think around 400 pesos, lodging not included! LOL.

I am also planning to tell my girlfriend, rather my ex-girlfriend, about this soon. I hope everything works out well. Maybe you’re wondering why I would tell her. The simple answer would be that it’s because she deserves to know. I’ve used her for almost a year just to cover myself and my true sexuality, and in the process I’ve hurt her very much. In our relationship, she was always crying and sad, while I was the one who didn’t even care. This confession would help me release the guilt inside. I hope we’ll stay as good friends soon.

On the other note, I’ve also started dating with people of the same sex. I even had a boyfriend, but it didn’t last long (he was 30 years old by the way). A friend of mine told me that in the ‘maya’ world, older men would always seek guys on the same age bracket that I have now (17-21). The logic is that mature men would look for someone young and fresh because it compliments his maturity age. It’s like yin and yang. Moreno para sa Mestiso. Mabalbon para sa Makinis. Payat para sa Chubby. Relationships like these usually last long, according to my friend. (I'll make a complete blog post about this soon).

I really hope that you, a closet, reading this, would soon also have a friend you could share stories with. In my experience, having someone closest to you and sharing intimate stories together makes life a little more colorful than what you would expect.

I'm not sure if "mystery closet" is still the right term to use in my blog. But I started from being like this, so I think I won't change the name. If you want to have a talk, you can always send me a message at: davaokiddo@gmail.com

Lovelots guys. See you when I see you.