Hello. It's currently evening here, and I'm currently at the office creating my blogpost. (Talk about being secretive)
It's been a year since I was employed in this place. A place far from Davao City. With all the good things that came, there were also the bad. In here I experienced things that I would not even dream of doing when I was in Davao. Thinks like doing dr*gs or excessively drinking liquor (I'll share this on another post). I'm not denying these things, nor would I be ashamed of it. Because it helped me become who I am now. It became a part of my life. Like pieces of leaves on a large tree.
Over-all, this place is aca-awesome! It helped me be the person that I wanna be. (not totally), but slowly and surely, I will come there. As I look back on my first year here, I realize that I am beginning to show the real me slowly to the public, to faces that I am not familiar with. Which is a good thing.
I even get to have crushes here on the company where I work in., and I'm having doubts if he has feelings for me too. And I need your advice my dear readers. Here goes the story.
There's this guy. Shorter than me, beefy/stocky, with long hair (not too long like tommy's hair on PBB), pinkish-tanned skin, and hazel eyes (brown, not black), freckles on the face, and a goatee. Basta. You get the picture. He's looks like he has spanish/mexican roots when you first look at him.
During my earlier days working here, I observed that he always takes a good look at me. He's like examining me from head to toe. He's always 'masungit' and 'mayabang' at first, but he's an approachable person. When he walks and talks, it's like testosterone is gushing out from his body like an aura when goku transforms into a super sayan.
As months pass by, I started to talk to him comfortably. We would exchange jokes, have casual conversations regarding work, and he often invites me to play basketball (a sport where I always regretted not playing during my childhood years). Everytime we meet, I couldn't help but stare at his amazing eyes. And his voice is uber manly. His over-all physique would suffice his lack in the height department. But you know what they say, it's not on how tall a guy is. What matters most is the length of the 'other' thing. Hahahaha.
Fastforward, October 2015. When we meet, he always touches me jokingly on the nipples and gives me that stare. He'll do this even on public, which somehow keeps me alert enough to keep my guard up and not let the closet reveal itself. Recently, he also teases me that I am gay. Statements like: "Haha. Nagchange naman yan si *insert name here*. Lalaki naman ang kanyang gusto" following a very hilarious laugh and a meaningful stare in front of other people. I usually take this as a joke and then go with the flow, but I admit, sometimes it annoys me, to the point that I don't talk to him some days.
Following this narrative, there are three possible reasons why he is acting this way. (just my hypothesis)
First: The most common reason of all. He is homophobic. He hates gays and he actually enjoys the pleasure of ridiculing me in public because an unknown source is telling him that I am gay. Maybe he had an unfortunate experience way back when he was young, molested by a gay? I don't know.
Second: He likes me and wants to befriend me. I remind him of a long time friend or brother. Friendzoned much?!
Third: The least likely reason of all, which I still consider. He has a secret crush on me. I know it sounds so absurd and silly but I really feel a small spark. (But maybe I'm just too delusional). It is important to note that this guy has a wife and two lovely kids.
If he's not crushing on me, then maybe he secretly desires to have s*x with me? My God. What am I saying (LOL).
I don't really know how to deal with this situation, but I am sure of one thing. All good things come to those who wait. So I think I'll just wait this out and further evaluate the situation. If there are advices there, anyone! You can always email me at davaokiddo@gmail.com.
Seriously though, if you are one of my readers, do not be afraid to email me sometimes. It's not that hard. What's hard is encoding and posting your life events on blogger and feel that no one is even reading it.
Peace out! Lovelots!
-davaokiddo
