Summary of my 2016

Hi closets.

I’m proud to say that I am no longer in the stage of fear or humiliation whenever someone confronts me about my sexuality, or when someone knows that I am a homosexual/gay on first impression. I mean, I don’t shout it out loud like others, saying (Hi Guys! I’m GAAAAAYY!!). No. I’m not like that. But at least I now have the courage to talk and open up to people with the same situation that I am going through.

In the distant past, I was the type of person who was always worried whenever someone sees me as a homosexual. Eventually, I met a few people (whom I now consider as friends) that made me realize that there’s really nothing wrong about people knowing about your sexuality. They encouraged me to do things in which I would never normally do (Don’t worry, they’re actually a good influence to me). I enjoy being with their company. Eventually, going out with them was a breeze. I felt comfortable being with them (unlike before wherein I was always conscious of what people might say when I was seen together with gays, closets, bi’s). It felt like I was part of something greater, a feeling that I rarely felt being in the closet.

Along the way, I have upgraded myself (and still upgrading). I wore clothes that better suited me. I also groomed in line with fashion trends of maya (signature hair, shorts, etc), it’s not yet 100% but I’m getting there, and I’ve also started posting pictures on facebook in which, a regular person or someone with a strong gaydar would automatically shout out and say (My god, maya jud ni sya/ bayot jud ni sya ay). I’m also a certified “pahilot customer”, I enjoy massages, especially the sensual ones. I think that’s my fetish. Did you know that the most expensive massage that I had was, I think around 400 pesos, lodging not included! LOL.

I am also planning to tell my girlfriend, rather my ex-girlfriend, about this soon. I hope everything works out well. Maybe you’re wondering why I would tell her. The simple answer would be that it’s because she deserves to know. I’ve used her for almost a year just to cover myself and my true sexuality, and in the process I’ve hurt her very much. In our relationship, she was always crying and sad, while I was the one who didn’t even care. This confession would help me release the guilt inside. I hope we’ll stay as good friends soon.

On the other note, I’ve also started dating with people of the same sex. I even had a boyfriend, but it didn’t last long (he was 30 years old by the way). A friend of mine told me that in the ‘maya’ world, older men would always seek guys on the same age bracket that I have now (17-21). The logic is that mature men would look for someone young and fresh because it compliments his maturity age. It’s like yin and yang. Moreno para sa Mestiso. Mabalbon para sa Makinis. Payat para sa Chubby. Relationships like these usually last long, according to my friend. (I'll make a complete blog post about this soon).

I really hope that you, a closet, reading this, would soon also have a friend you could share stories with. In my experience, having someone closest to you and sharing intimate stories together makes life a little more colorful than what you would expect.

I'm not sure if "mystery closet" is still the right term to use in my blog. But I started from being like this, so I think I won't change the name. If you want to have a talk, you can always send me a message at: davaokiddo@gmail.com

Lovelots guys. See you when I see you.