Hello 31

 Life is funny. Just when I almost forgot about this blog, a short memory kicks in and viola here I am again. 

It's 2024. A LOT has changed. Reading my previous posts kinda brings back the fuzzy feelings inside. It's like looking at a kid, so carefree, and pure bliss. 

I'm a 10 year employed person now. Kinda at the point where I believe most of my peers would want in order to live a decent life. (note: decent, not extravagant). I can buy what I want, I can eat what I want, heck, I can satisfy cravings if time permits.

However, don't get me wrong though. I also have debts, and sometimes  I loose control in keeping money, but on average, life is pretty good.  In fact, it's too good that some of my acquaintances from school or work get really surprised whenever the topic falls on each other's age... I always get this compliment that I don't look like my age.

For perspective, I am 5,8 in height, 72 kg moreno looking with thick brows, thick hair, broad shoulders, with a built and frame of a normal person (meaning i'm not fat, and i'm not thin either). Some say I can improve visually by going to the gym "daw", but I guess I couldn't stop my favorite sport (and habit) of taking a shot (sa glass). I don't really mind these comments, and usually end the conversation with a little chuckle or laugh. However, what bothers me though is that some of the men my age are starting to get bald, and have acquired chronic illnesses nadin (hypertension, diabetes, to say the least) with matching daddy body structure (appearing to look like they are married with two kids). I mean some of them are, which is okay.. But some are still single...

Being 31 and seeing the striking difference I seem to possess amongst my peers, I can safely conclude that youth is mostly dictated by the following:

1. Maintaining a slim/average body structure.

2. Having good and thick black hair. (which is also the reason why I don't get my hair dyed, after an experience years back).

I'm saying with the intention of sharing what I know so far to be true. To be honest, I was also on the heavier side way back (i think i was 82kg before). And experience taught me that gym isn't really the key to lose weight. 

Loosing weight starts on what we eat. Alas, the old saying that goes "What we eat is what we are." may very well stand the test of time as to its truthfulness.

Anyway, the main reason I'm posting this is because I feel so.... incomplete and lost. Just to be clear, I am not feeling negative, nor do I have bad thoughts about myself (nor do I have bad plans to do with thyself). It's not that kind of feeling. It's just.... an empty feeling.. Don't get me wrong, I am not the ungrateful type of person. It's just that, last night truly bothered me, or "rather" scared me. 

You know the feeling when you go to bed and you're just so tired that your body instantly went to that freezing stage (right before your mind go to sleep). I was there staring at my room's ceiling, lights turned off. Everything was so quiet - like I couldn't even hear the snores of other people in the house. 

It was at that moment that I realized and asked myself about my future. Like I had the most divine and sincere conversation with myself. I was self-reflecting on the fact that I am 31, and that I would probably die alone, without any kids. It was at this moment I started to ask as to where all my efforts are gonna go to. I could also say that what happened was my inner voice asking myself about what is my purpose/goal in living this life, or what things should I pursue.. It is also worth noting that amongst those several ideas running in my mind, the ultimate question of my death was repeating/reverberating in my consciousness.

What bothers me more is that I have a boyfriend, and currently in a relationship at the moment. Does any of this sound familiar to you guys? I wanna hear your thoughts. 

P.S. I'm not dying, and I don't have any chronic illnesses (in so far as annual medical check up shows me)

On being 27

 Yes. It has been a long time since I have posted something on my blog.

Yes. I'm currently 27 years old.

Yes. I have experienced good things and bad things in life. 

Yes. I think that I am in a period of arriving on the crossroads of my life. 


For several years, I have always desired the male flesh. However, even if this desire has been persistent through the years (and trust me it still does), I remain to be a someone who rarely have sex with males. I also believe my sexual activity or 'sexual drive' does not really control me, since I'm more of looking at the person more for emotional satisfaction.

This kind of thinking has always been with me. Plenty of my friends wonder why I'm like this, and I always reply by saying that I also ask the same question.

Nowadays, with the help of the pandemic, I guess this hunger and desire slowly fades away. But whenever the time comes when I can no longer contain it, I usually seek help from my trustworthy smartphone and watch some good old P*RN.

Since I'm nearing my 30's I don't even know if I should have regrets of not having 'enough sex' with other males, and the thought of having wasted my youth (which by the way was a good ride, as lots of people tell me I am attractive) is somehow causing me an intimate kind of loneliness. 

Relatively, this 'loneliness' did not actually make my sexual desires decrease. It just happened. 

What's more interesting is that I now consider having a wife and a family. Weird and crazy right? It's not the fact of being lonely that I'm now thinking about these things. It's not even because I'm curious or I'm suddenly sexually attracted with girls. 

It's just that girls (as I now realized) are way more emotionally available for me - this statement is true from my experience with girlfriends. They were  all beautiful. And I wasted the chance of not grabbing the opportunities that passed by. 

I still hope that I will meet someone whom I can share my goals with. A person who can make me smile whenever I'm sad. A person who would share my pain with their pain. The pain of living in the world altogether. 

In ending this blog entry, I would like to say, that just as Pandora opened the BOX that released all the evils in the world, one entity remained inside. And this tiny essence, was HOPE.

I still HOPE that one day, I will meet, the ONE. 

HPV and Coronavirus Quarantine

Hi everyone. It's been a while since I posted an entry on this blog.

To give you a quick update, I'm now 26 years old, and apparently still single. But I'm no virgin though... I've had quite a handful of sex... with men of course.

My sexcapades is actually the main highlight of this entry. Sadly, I recently discovered that my anal area has warts (or i think they are warts). I've wanted to get checked by a doctor or any medical professionals in a hospital, but the COVID lockdown and quarantine wouldn't allow me to freely move in the city. And I wouldn't risk my life going outside as well, knowing I am a frequent smoker.

Does anyone have any experience about this kind of disease? Especially in Davao City?

I'm praying that these 'warts' would not spread like wildfire though. Today is just a sad day. I'm also hoping that the blogs from other people also live up to their statements, in which they assure that the warts would visibly go away after 6 months. The virus though, would live in your body throughout your life.

It's not life-threatening. Rather, it's a ridiculous reminder that there was a time when I did a stupid thing during sex.

This is davaokiddo, telling everyone to always be careful when having sex. And NEVER allow your emotions 'take-over'on your sound judgement of a situation.

My weirdest hook-up so fart.

Maybe you're asking yourself if you read that correct, and yes. You are reading it correctly. It's FART, not FAR. And I'm gonna share why...

Yesterday I got a message from a stranger in my messenger. It was a few minutes after I posted pictures of a recent marathon I joined. I read it and the conversation started out like this:

Stranger: Sir?

Me: Yes?

S: Are you playing basketball?

M: Nope.

S: Any sports?

M: Why sir?

S: I need your help with something, even if I have to pay for it. It's okay if it's running shoes. Do you have one?

(At this time I thought he was gonna borrow my shoes.)

Me: Yes, but the size of my foot is 11. And I don't let someone borrow my shoes.

Stranger: No it's gonna be you who will wear it. I need a respondent for a venture I'm seeking. I look for people around facebook to do it. What you are going to do is: 1) Jog for 10 minutes. I'll get blood pressure before and after you jog to compare the measurements. 2) I also need to measure the heat inside your shoes 3) I'll need to interview you about your experience if you have gastritis in your stomach and what are your remedies to release the air inside the stomach..

(At this point I already knew that he was sending sexual innuendos to me. I told myself why not? This will be a new experience to me. I actually was thinking of a very kinky foreplay at that time like gay physical exams that I always see on porn. LOL XD)

So we agreed to meet at his place somewhere in Buhangin.  I arrived wearing my running shoes (as he instructed me to do) dripping with sweat from the run (He also instructed me to do a quick walk or run to increase the temperature of my shoes). He immediately welcomed me and we shared a short conversation. I pretended to be as innocent as possible and he continued telling me not to be awkward about it, and that it was all for a paper/project that he was doing.

Before we started he gave me a cup of coffee (Kopiko) and then he proceeded to take blood pressure and initiated some small talk. After that, he proceeded on my feet and he immediately removed my shoes and smelled it. (Like what the fuck, would a normal person do that??) I just acted like I didn't notice and he proceeded with the thermometer to measure the temperature. 

After that he started asking me questions about gastritis, and if there is air in my stomach how would I fart. It was a long talk, and trust me in saying that it was all weird. Bottomline is he told me "Is it okay if I smelled your fart? Like in point blank range?" I was stunned. But then I replied sure, because he kept on repeating that he'll give me money afterwards (although I never needed it, the whole situation itself kept me entertained anyway).

Next thing I knew, he got his bed from his room, and placed it in the living room. We were the only people in the house and it was dimly lit inside because of dark curtains. He then instructed me to do positions that exposed my butt and to remove my pants, so I was only wearing underwear (boxer shorts). He then positioned his face up my butthole while waiting for me to fart. THAT WAS THE MOST WEIRDEST EXPERIENCE I HAD IN MY LIFE. The fact that a person was waiting for me to fart. Because of that feeling, I had a hard time giving him what he wanted. During the wait, he would always mention that farts have medicinal purposes because of the nitrogen that it produces (or something similar to that) etc2. It was like he was convincing me that what we are doing was normal and not out of the ordinary. 

Soon, I told him that I felt like I was about to fart, making him push his head further through my butthole. *pooof*. A long fart had been released. He inhaled so much, it was like a vacuum cleaner sucked all of the air in the room. I then proceeded to get my pants but he requested for another long fart, so I gave him what he wanted. We waited for a few minutes, and when I told him another one was coming, he quickly removed my underwear and sticked his nose in my butthole, causing the fart to be released almost immediately. I was shocked because of what he did, but I wasn't disgusted either. (Crazy right?)

Later that night, he escorted me out of the house and gave me money (Php. 1,000). I then looked it up on the internet and saw that it was a real medical condition called EPROCTOPHILIA.

 "This is a paraphilia in which people are sexually aroused by flatulence (Aggrawal, 2009). Therefore, eproctophiles are said to spend an abnormal amount of time thinking about farting and flatulence and have recurring intense sexual urges and fantasies involving farting and flatulence (Griffiths, 2012a)"

That was the first and the last time that I hooked up with him. I deleted his number after we parted ways. Until now, I can still remember everything (not that it bothers me though). And somehow, it made me realize that Php. 1,000 is really not that bad. 

This is Davaokiddo, signing off. :D 

P.S. message me at davaokiddo@gmail.com if you'd like to share something or you just want to talk in general. lovelots!!

Updates about Davaokiddo 06/29/2018

It's 8:50pm and I'm sitting in the kitchen table, typing a new entry on my blog.

It has been a long time since I wrote anything on this page. I never thought I would miss writing. Updates about me, well my life has not been going very well, I think.

I smoke. I drink.  and I have sex with different guys (with protection of course). Although I plan to correct these very grave mistakes, I just can't escape being bad.

My optimal solution was to apply for an immigration visa to Canada, but I recently discovered that I was denied. Very sad, if you ask me. But not too sad. Half of me wants to stay here in Davao and work, and the other half wants to go abroad and explore the world. I think I'm already exhibiting symptoms of quarterlife crisis. It's just that I see a few of my friends work abroad and they already have tremendous investments here in the Philippines. 

I know that we shouldn't look at our neighbors progress and instead concentrate on our own path but I just can't help it when sometimes I look at their achievements. To clarify, this is not envy. They gave me inspiration to go abroad. I was even surprised about it. I never knew I had it in me.

Anyway, my TOTGA (The One That Got Away) has now graduated college. Good for him. We don't communicate anymore, as that was the advice of his ex, who happens to be my new found friend. She taught me how to move on in times when I needed it the most. If I did not distance myself from him, I would still be the hopeless, foolish being waiting for a love that will never, ever be given to me. (this is a very long story that I am planning to share with you guys soon, it's just that I still haven't had the time to post my failed relationship because of busy schedules from work and other things)
After the "sad-part" of moving on, I now think and feel that her friendship is now something much more. I feel that she may have "romantic feelings" for me. So yeah, my life is complicated.

Here I am, conquering life's battles one step at a time. Speaking of steps, I should also inform you guys that I am now living a healthy lifestyle by joining marathons here in Davao and other areas in the Philippines. I already have four (4) brass medals in my room. I also cut a few pounds since joining. At least I'm doing something positive in my life that you can try as well. It's good being surrounded with positive people, although I haven't really talked with any of them because of my introversion, but maybe one of these days I will try and seek to join a running group/team. Just to see how fun and thrill it would give me that can substitute the vices that I still do until now.

Well, I guess that's just for now. The rain has stopped. Gotta watch Netflix and chill.


See ya later guys. If you are a closet, or someone who needs someone to talk with, you can email me directly at: davaokiddo@gmail.com

My BAD HIV Testing Experience (SPMC HACT) Davao

January 10, 2018.

It was on this date that I took my 4th HIV Screening Test . For the past 3 tests that I had, all resulted in "non-reactive (negative)" which is kind of reassuring. But because of my active lifestyle, I find it hard to be 'just at peace' with these three results. So I went to our good friendly neighborhood clinic, SPMC-HACT Office. But then things went downsouth for me during that time.

As usual I go inside and tell them: "Hey, can I test myself for HIV again? (non-verbatim, but still close)" A lady approached me (she was a nurse) and told me: "Tara punta tayo sa loob sandali." I was expecting that I would be tested because I was in a bit of a hurry that day (It was a weekday, and I just took off from work just to get tested).

She then started telling me:

"Dili na mi naga cater anang mag sigeg balik2x"
"Wala diay nimo ginapractice ang safe sex"
"Mao nay problema gahi kaayo mog mga ulo"
"Wala diay nimo ginafollow ang counselling sa imoha"

I was so shocked by her remarks that I sat there and froze staring at the nurse. She was new (I can tell because I've been there like 3 times). Out of irritation, I told her with conviction: "Ah, Miss, kanang naa diay sa batas or sa law na bawal mag balik2 ug pa test?" At which, she replied: "Ahhh wala man sa batas naka state sir, pero kanang dili man gud naga work among counselling sa imoha.. Sa lahi nalang ka na testing center, ayaw lang diri sa amoa".

She denied my request for testing. At this point, I was furious. How does she get to decide who should be and should not be tested (Take note, she was not the ? She should have appreciated people that are willing to be tested. She should praise or even accept people because that's the main purpose of testing. To know, as soon as possible, if someone has HIV or not, so as not to progress into AIDS.

I stood my ground. Because I knew my rights. I knew the law, and I know that she was 'out of her mind'. Shaking out of mixed emotions (anger and fear) towards this very rude nurse, I was about to record our conversations on my phone. It was at this point that I think she noticed the recording that she suddenly changed her decision and told me: "Sige sir, tara adto na ta diri para magkuha ug dugo"

Power tripping? Possibly. But I just let it go. The day ended with me being tested. Before leaving I really wanted to know what that nurse's name is, but I decided not to ask (so as not to make a commotion out of it). I know what she did was wrong. And I pity the other people who will go to the clinic and encounter that obnoxious lady.

My 4th test showed 'non-reactive'.

Before I end this post, I wanna tell the nurse, if you're reading this, please bear in mind that not all people who go for re-testing are people who practice immoral UNSAFE sex. There are also people who'd like to be tested even though they practice safe sex (like me). Yes call it paranoia or being crazy, but if this is the way to save my life against this disease (that killed millions of people), then I'd be glad to see your face every year!


P.S.

I did some research work and I found out her real name through the HACT website. Her name is: Lorraine D. Mata, RN

I have nothing against you ma'am, but I want people to be informed by you and what you did to me during my testing. You left me no choice. (Pictures below)

A Guide in Entering the Maya World

Since I just recently opened up in the community, I have been blessed with people that guided me and gave me advices regarding the complicated world of mayas.

Strictly for adults only. If you’re not an adult, please click close now. Thanks!

1) POSTING VULGAR PICTURES IN SOCIAL MEDIA MAKES YOU CHEAP

It doesn’t hurt if you post pictures of yourself half nude if you are blessed with a really good body because of that high-class 'katkat' gym you enrolled in, or because you’re just the sporty type of person, not to mention that very cute face!. pero please naman bes, wag mo naman masyadong dalas dalasin ang pagpost with matching seductive poses. Kulang nalang siguro nakahawak ka ng karatula na ang nakalagay (For sale: 500 isang putok). Mga ganun gud? There are even some people na nagpo-post ng pictures nakahawak ng towel at yung junior nalang ang nakatakip. Wag ganyan bes. Wag. Always remember. Vanity is one give away to identify if someone is gay or not. So if you want to remain in that beautiful closet of yours, control bes. Control your posting in social media. If you want, you can also use other apps for posting pics like that (see 3: APPS OF LUST) XD

2) CLUBBING TOO MUCH WOULD MAKE YOU LOOK CHEAP TOO

Commonly, gays/closets/bi’s only avenue to look for a partner is when they go out in clubs/bars. These encounters usually end up in short time quickies. These are places that offer happiness for most of the youth a.k.a millennials nowadays. Drinking in bars/clubs can also encourage someone to engage conversations with other people, even strangers. That’s why HIV nowadays is common especially to the younger generation because the younger generation are adventurous and at the same time, reckless. They drink too much, not realizing the dangers that they will face afterwards. I remembered a story back when I tested myself of HIV in the clinic of SPMC. I met a woman with her son. She said the story was that her son was just celebrating reunion with his barkadas in high school. They had lots of liquor to drink and his son couldn't control himself. When the son woke up he found out he was raped, and was sleeping alone in a different room. Years later he found out he had HIV. As I stared at her son, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. His pale skin and blank eyes pierced me. It's like he was saying, "Don't do the things that I did if I were you..."

And it’s basically common sense. Hanging out in a bar/club frequently would earn you the image of a hooker. Stereotypically thinking. Besides, it’s bad for your health too. Give your body a rest. Wag parati makati bes.

3) APPS OF LUST

By now most of us gay guys/closets/bi’s already know of apps that offer short –time pleasures, but for those of you who still aren’t aware of these apps, let me give you an intro.  There are two apps (in my knowledge) that most of the maya community of davao usually use. These are Grindr and PlanetRomeo. These are gay dating apps. You can search this further on google. These are downloadable in both platforms (iOS and Android). 

These are apps that lets you locate gays near your area. You can chat with them, and eventually meet  with them depending on your locations.  On a personal note, I’d rather call it hook-up apps compared to dating apps because the usual purpose and function of these apps is to find someone whenever you’re horny (YES! Parating horny ang mga maya/bakla/bi bes!)

4) DON’T BE PART OF THE LARGER GROUP

All of us make mistakes. That includes a friend who shared me his story: Once upon a time there was a guy. He was 21. A rich, young and fresh guy who’s also like me, a closet. Everyone in town took notice. Everyone in town wanted him. Why? Because in the maya community, you’ll be the cherry on top if you’re the type of person who they don’t see too often in clubs. Ganito kasi yan mga bes, when you go too often in clubs you’ll be frequently exposed and be socialized with other mayas here in Davao. Positive effect of that, you’ll become popular. Everyone would know who you are, and in turn you would know everyone  who’s a maya. You’ll never run out of contacts/friends, etc. Sidebacks? Given a month or two, you’ll be a common name na sa kanila. People will start talking behind your back. If you’re inserted in a conversation, this would be a common response: “Ah yun siya oo. Parati man yun sa clubs” “Palainom kaayo to” “Siya? Dami man yan kilala sa clubs. Makati man yan sya”. Or worse, people might tarnish your name like: “Oh yan siya, may HIV gud yan sya kay kadami nya gd friends na maya. Every night may ka sex”. With fame comes great responsibility bes. That’s why I’ve been laying low these past few months. Ayoko munang mag shot2/party2 mga ganun, because by then I’ll become an ordinary face, until someone else comes along. You’ll never be the wanted guy again (LOL. Mej assuming ako. Sorry po!!).

So going back, mayas would like a person who’s not too often in clubs because they know that the person hasn’t been touched, virgin pa sa community, etc. It’s just like straight guys. Straight guys just want to fuck around with fuckgirls, but in the end, they settle for a girl whose modest and sincere. Someone that they can entrust their families and be proud of showing to everyone.

But again, if socializing is your thing bes, then there’s nothing bad about it. Just remember the possible consequences you might face if you do this though. Yun lang. J

5) HILOT, HAGOD, HIKAP, HUBO…

The only thing that I’m currently addicted on is massages!! I think every maya know about this so I want to share it with you guys as well. It happened last year, September 2016 if my memory is still correct. I was unemployed at the time, and I had met a gay friend who I always hang out with (until now). One night, we decided to chill at Zigudu. Party2 na mga bes. So yun nakainom na kami ng marami. Had laughs together, then suddenly he decided to treat me in a massage parlor at Matina. The name was  Peppermint Massage, something like that. It’s exactly located right beside 7/11 store in Matina, Shrine hills.

Before we proceeded, he told me ahead of time to remove my underwear. Ako na first timer, na shock. Di ko alam kung bakit maghuhubad. Basta maghubad lang daw. So yun ginawa ko na. Pag magtanong daw kung bakit ako naghubad, sagutin ko lang daw na ayaw ko magka mantiya yung underwear ko..

So yun na. The massage was normal at the back (sa likod talaga sila nag uumpisa), then pagdating sa legs. Jusmiyo mygod! Na shock ako.. Yung kamay niya, napupunta sa mga lugar na di dapat puntahan…. Binabangga pa yung itlog mo. So syempre, ma ho horny ka talaga. Grabe! That was the most sensual experience I had. I actually prefer it compared to sex. I don’t know why, but now I always save a little money for a massage once a month. Oh diba? Hahaha.. Ako na. LOL!

For the closets out there, you can also do this. Just remember to approach the counter then say that you want a male masseur (para sa pressure), and when you enter the room, don’t forget to remove your underwear so that he can give you the satisfaction you want. (Parang code/signal na kasi sa mga masseur na kung wala kang briefs/boxers na suot, that means you’re gay and you want a different type of pleasure. Hahahaha…)

That’s all closets/bis/gays out there.. Meron pa sana akong idagdag pero it’s in the back of my head. I can’t remember the other things pero basta. It will reveal itself soon, then I’ll post it again as part 2. This is davaokiddo signing off. You can always email me if you want to share something or if you just want to talk. Lovelots!!! <3 <3 <3

Summary of my 2016

Hi closets.

I’m proud to say that I am no longer in the stage of fear or humiliation whenever someone confronts me about my sexuality, or when someone knows that I am a homosexual/gay on first impression. I mean, I don’t shout it out loud like others, saying (Hi Guys! I’m GAAAAAYY!!). No. I’m not like that. But at least I now have the courage to talk and open up to people with the same situation that I am going through.

In the distant past, I was the type of person who was always worried whenever someone sees me as a homosexual. Eventually, I met a few people (whom I now consider as friends) that made me realize that there’s really nothing wrong about people knowing about your sexuality. They encouraged me to do things in which I would never normally do (Don’t worry, they’re actually a good influence to me). I enjoy being with their company. Eventually, going out with them was a breeze. I felt comfortable being with them (unlike before wherein I was always conscious of what people might say when I was seen together with gays, closets, bi’s). It felt like I was part of something greater, a feeling that I rarely felt being in the closet.

Along the way, I have upgraded myself (and still upgrading). I wore clothes that better suited me. I also groomed in line with fashion trends of maya (signature hair, shorts, etc), it’s not yet 100% but I’m getting there, and I’ve also started posting pictures on facebook in which, a regular person or someone with a strong gaydar would automatically shout out and say (My god, maya jud ni sya/ bayot jud ni sya ay). I’m also a certified “pahilot customer”, I enjoy massages, especially the sensual ones. I think that’s my fetish. Did you know that the most expensive massage that I had was, I think around 400 pesos, lodging not included! LOL.

I am also planning to tell my girlfriend, rather my ex-girlfriend, about this soon. I hope everything works out well. Maybe you’re wondering why I would tell her. The simple answer would be that it’s because she deserves to know. I’ve used her for almost a year just to cover myself and my true sexuality, and in the process I’ve hurt her very much. In our relationship, she was always crying and sad, while I was the one who didn’t even care. This confession would help me release the guilt inside. I hope we’ll stay as good friends soon.

On the other note, I’ve also started dating with people of the same sex. I even had a boyfriend, but it didn’t last long (he was 30 years old by the way). A friend of mine told me that in the ‘maya’ world, older men would always seek guys on the same age bracket that I have now (17-21). The logic is that mature men would look for someone young and fresh because it compliments his maturity age. It’s like yin and yang. Moreno para sa Mestiso. Mabalbon para sa Makinis. Payat para sa Chubby. Relationships like these usually last long, according to my friend. (I'll make a complete blog post about this soon).

I really hope that you, a closet, reading this, would soon also have a friend you could share stories with. In my experience, having someone closest to you and sharing intimate stories together makes life a little more colorful than what you would expect.

I'm not sure if "mystery closet" is still the right term to use in my blog. But I started from being like this, so I think I won't change the name. If you want to have a talk, you can always send me a message at: davaokiddo@gmail.com

Lovelots guys. See you when I see you.

Perks of Maya Maya

It's been a very long time since I have made a new post here on my blog.

Today, I want to share that the Japan-Philippines love story is now over. I have found out things about my partner that I cannot accept as of now like: past wrongdoings, past lovers, age difference and the fact that his priority is to his family (pamangkins, sisters, etc) and not to me. I feel like I've been used. It's hard to admit but I must say that I still love him, but the two of us should never be together again. It wasn't easy. After all, he was my first gay lover.

Even though there is anger and resentment, I also feel thankful. Thankful because through him, the doors of the discreet community here in Davao had slowly been opening its doors for me.

Through him, I met one of the most good-looking and maya friends of mine. As I can recall, there are only two gay friends that I have been sharing my life stories with. Two people only know the craziness and exciting things that I've been doing as a gay man.. I don't know if I can still be considered as a closet, knowing that I have told two people about my secrets. . Let's call him Kristoff for now. You can view his picture by clicking this link: Kristoff's PIC

Plenty of gay men are now messaging me on facebook. Requesting me for my number, a date at expensive restaurants, a movie hangout, chill at the beach. etc.. but all of these invitations, I have strictly denied.

I know some of them are not that bad. Some are even boyfriend material. "Yung pwede mong madala sa mall na bf.. Mga ganun".. There were plenty of opportunities.. But I closed doors.

I don't know what's really happening to me nowadays.. Especially since I've also observed that I have been addicted to sensual massages no matter what cost, and no matter what the masseur looked like.

Oh and yeah. I've been hired. I am now a gay man with a job. Kudos to me! :)

That's all. I hope someone's still reading this.

PS: Friendly advice, I think that it may also help for closets to have at least one friend who knows. Trust me. I am talking from experience,. It can really reduce the heavy feeling inside. :)

Love you all. Ta ta.

Japan vs Philippines

Hey there. It's been a week since my boyfriend and I have separated (geographically). It's hard for me since it's the first time that I have experienced having a relationship with the same sex, with an older guy (30), and long distance relationship..

I don't know why I love him. I think it's because of his angst. His "chuy chuy" aura. And the fact that he's chinito and beefy. A friend of mine (the only one that I've been sharing all about my secret personality) said: "Why him? You're pogi and he's.... nevermind" "Ngano siya? Kagwapo ra nimo..." And I always reply with a smile, saying: "Love lang jud nako siya". We had sex before he left. 3 times to be exact. Maybe that's the reason that I feel more connected with him. Not only did our body connect, but so did our souls. The only sad thing was that I never saw him leave Davao. He said he didn't want to see me because it would make him more depressed if he saw me cry "Masyado siyang assuming".

We have constant communication. We chat on facebook. But recently he was upset because I forgot to tell him that I would have drinks with my friends on DEQ at Saging Repablik (a restaurant with lots of good looking waiters).

I tried calling him several times. He wouldn't answer the call. I chat with him, and I only end up being 'seenzoned'. I don't know what else to do. As I said earlier, this is the first time that I have a relationship with the same sex. The mechanics are still unknown for me. It may be a difficult road ahead but one thing is for sure, "I love him.. With all of my heart". I've never felt something like this since like... forever.

I want to spend the rest of my life with him.. And I want him to know. I want him to feel the same way that I do.

This is davaokiddo, sharing my daily dilemmas in life.

Lovelots <3

Masculados (Gay Bar)

(in photo: my husby, Marlon Teixeira)

I wanted to share this because this is my first gay bar experience. I always thought that my first would be somewhere in Manila, but a recently acquired friend of mine urged me to go inside one of Davao's known gay bar, Maskulados.

It happened yesterday. September 7, 2016, 9:00PM to be exact.. It was actually raining (light rain) and both of us were excited. Hahaha. The bar is actually located on the second floor, and there's a stairway showered in blue LED lights. Along the walls you can see posters of the models ranging from young to old. All equally appealing to the eyes. Hahaha.

When we arrived at the top, we were shocked because there were no people present. Well, considering the fact that it was actually a wednesday and it was raining. The staff were accommodating and they gestured us to go inside the bar even if the show did not start. They gave us a seat inside, and we made our orders. (Two buckets of Red Horse, imagine that! And we were only two guys during that time!! Hahaha)\

Over-all. My first experience was actually fun. If I were to rate it between 1-10, I'd give it the perfect score of 10. Hahaha. The guys at the bar were all hot!! There was a guy with hispanic features (beard, torso filled with hair) that looked like one of the pornstars of Sean Cody! Shet! There was also a guy with oriental features (who looks like Vaness Wu from Meteor Garden) but a rocking hot body..

Samples of the dancers there is shown below. Hahaha.

Oh diba? Ang sasarap nila... Eto pa oh...

Advice for closets: If you want to go here unnoticed, just wear glasses and go during Monday-Thursday only. These days are safe because there's little or no customer present during this period. And most especially, go in pairs. Don't go alone. Go with someone you know perhaps on Grindr. 

So ano pa hinihintay niyo? Gora na. Hahaha. You Only Live Once. Spend your time wisely ;))

 Masculados Restobar is located at Anda St., Davao City (near CAP Auditorium)

The Unintended Lover

Hi guys, I'm back. It's been a month since I've been unemployed. These past few days I've realized that my body is not used to just sit around and relax at home. I also worry that if I continue to stay home (and rest), baka mas lumaki pa ako. So to prevent this, I applied in one of the BPO companies here in Davao. Hopefully I'll get accepted and enjoy the work.

In my dormant state, when at home, I can't help but use my Grindr to find nearby cuties and PLU's (People Like Us). I was not used to seeing a lot of people (especially young teens) online in Grindr that time and most especially, at our place. One by one they messaged me, I messaged back. The funny thing is, there's this one guy that stands out the most. I enjoyed talking with him (he's in his 30-40 something). He said he had a car and he would like to meet. It was the first time that I would meet up a guy with a car on Grindr so I got curious and went ahead with the plan.

Evening came and I waited at our agreed spot for 10 minutes and at last, he arrived. He was using a Toyota Hilux (Pick up Truck) and stopped in front of me. He rolled down his window and he invited me in. At first I couldn't see him clearly, and when he turned on the lights I saw his face. He was chinito. Matanda na pero bata pumorma. He was wearing a shirt, shorts, glasses and a baller cap, giving him the illusion that he's still in his mid-20's pero in reality, mas matanda pa sya. Hahaha.

We talked, shared laughs, and bonded with each other. Nothing sexual happened. He said he was from Japan and that he was just having his vacation here in the Philippines. He's already a Japanese citizen btw. We continued our talk in his house which was 'above average' if you ask me. He even thought that I looked like one of those brazilian-japanese guys he sees on japan dahil daw moreno ako.

Everything went well after that. He introduced me to his friends and his nephews (college dudes who are actually cuties too). He seems nice and he respects me. At this moment I already accepted his friend request on facebook (first time that I will do). I think I like him more and more each day. <3

P.S. Here are pictures of his nephews.

Oh diba? Pak Ganern! Hahahaha.

Resignation

As I watch my calendar, I see that I only have nine days left to stay with my current employer. It's been fun working here especially since this is my first job. I've feel like I've learned so much already. Things that are not taught in school. Experience is truly the best teacher.

I'm definitely going to miss this place. Food, Surfing, Party, even the scorching heat of the sun. I only have one thing left in my "to-do list" that I need to fulfill before leaving this place, and if you're an avid reader of my blog, you know what I mean. LOL. (Hopefully it works out)

I'm looking forward that as I go back to Davao, I'll leave behind the wrong things that I did. Habits that we're not part of my priorities/goals when I applied for work here.

This is me, writing my history. This may be a bad choice, but at least it's my decision. Someday, I'll look at this as one of the best chapters of my life.

See you soon DAVAO! :) Lovelots.

-davaokiddo (davaokiddo@gmail.com)

CND: Katrabaho

Hello guys. Today I'm doing my favorite entry: CND or most famously known as Crush Ni Davaokiddo. I'm featuring Mr. I today, He's a co-worker of mine (of the lower rank). Unlike most of the employees that I commonly supervise (oldies), he's different because he's young, and he's refreshing to the eyes.

Without further ado, here he is:

We were drinking that time because it was a fiesta. I was even surprised that I met him there. It was pure coincidence. Sorry it was only glimpses/snapshots of him. Wala kasi siyang facebook or any social media account. 

I'm actually attempting to invite him to Siargao. For him to come with me there. Para naman mas masaya ang pag stay ko doon. LOL! Hope papayag sya..

That's all for now closets! Lovelots!

;)

-davaokiddo (davaokiddo@gmail.com)

Napahiya Ako

I’ll be writing this post in ‘mixed’ language so that I can fully express myself. So please bear with me. 

Inimbita kami ng aking katrabaho sa bahay nila. Apparently, bisperas nung day na yun (Bisperas is the term used for the day before an actual fiesta in a barangay here in our place). So yun, pagdating namin (7:42), kumain kami ng marami, especially yung sinabawan na carabao (it’s a common delicacy here). We shared laughs and fun stories as we ate (siyempre mga barako halos lahat ng kasama ko). After that, binigyan kami ng isang case ng red horse beer. It’s common protocol na bigyan ang mga bisita ng alak after eating (most especially during fiesta). I guess it’s normal tradition for all Filipinos.

So yun nagkainuman kaming lahat. Take note na friends ko lahat ng mga lalaking nakainuman ko. Then here comes my boss. Siya yung tipong barako talaga. Pala inom. Mahilig mambabae. In short, he’s like a GOD for most of male Filipinos kasi naman he has all. Women, Money, Power, etc. He also shared life lessons like this: Pag ang babae daw tumanda, nag de-depreciate yung value, pero kung ang lalaki daw ang tumanda, mas lalong tumataas ang market value. Then all of them would start bursting out laughter. Turns out, joker din si Sir.

(11:00). We had finished two and a half cases of red horse beer already and a lot of us we’re already drunk. (Besides me of course). Then it happened. Ito yung pinaka kinaiinisan kong mangyari sa akin during an inuman (or any given occasion, because this happens a lot). My boss questioned my sexuality. In front of my f*cking friends. Hindi ko alam kung paano umabot sa point na yun. Basta ang alam ko lang, tumingin sya sa akin and then he opened it up. “Dex (not my real name), bayot ka no? Sulti nalang gud”. At that point I always do what I normally do. Look the person that addressed me straight in the eyes, just be quiet and smile. I knew he was drunk, but I can’t help to be angry. Angry with him and myself included. Then anger turned to humiliation. Humiliation to shame.

All of my friends were laughing, and I was about to walk out that time, but that would be too obvious. Sanay na akong makarining ng remarks about my sexuality but coming from him, my boss, one that I already considered my father, it hurts. It also hurts when your friends join in the fun and tease you. I told myself at that exact moment to be strong. To never show them that they are hurting me inside. Then he addressed a friend (the one sitting next to him) and told him: “Bayot jud na si dex?”, and then my friend replied: “Ambot lang sir. Siya lang ang makatubag ana?”

I’ve been a very bad person. Done drugs and alcohol. All in an effort to blend in and hide perfectly in my closet. But I guess my methods were wrong. Maybe it’s because of this face? The way I move? My voice? The way I talk? Oftentimes I blame my parents for not letting me go outside when I was still young. Kasi iniisip ko na baka it’s because of my lack of socialization with other young boys when I was a kid kaya ako naging ganito. That maybe, if I had played sports, been naughty, etc, I could have been a man that they always wanted me to be. I always think that the way I am today is because of how my parents raised me back then, and not because of genetics (pathetic right?). Although I have gay relatives from my father’s side (including an uncle) which makes it more factual to believe that it’s because of the genes.

How would opening up and telling the world about ‘me being gay’ any better? Would the pain from being discriminated be less if I step out of my closet and inform everyone na bakla ako? I also hate myself for the fact na I take it as an insult when someone tells me “Are you gay? Bakla ka ba?” Yes I’m gay, and sadly, I am ashamed of it.

Sometimes, I always imagine what would happen if I suddenly disappear. Hide from everyone that I ever knew. Have a new life under a new name. Start over. Meet new friends but this time, I would be open about my sexuality. I would tell the world that I am gay. Would I be happy? Would that solve my life-long problem? The only thing that’s keeping me from doing this is because of my family. I grew up in a household full of love and respect. I don’t want to rob them years of misery.

I guess I already said too much. Kung may makausap lang sana ako regarding these things I wouldn’t feel lonely inside. So instead of talking to someone, I share it through this blog. This blog keeps me sane. It’s like my bestfriend already. “A really deaf and mute friend” to be specific.

This is davaokiddo. Signing off. You can always email me at: davaokiddo@gmail.com

D Morvie

I'm currently at D Morvie (near Bangkerohan) and I can't believe that WiFi here is so fast!! I guess it's because it's 4:00 in the afternoon 'at wala pa masyadong customers'.

Maybe you're all wondering why I'm here right? I'm here because I had a very good time with a friend of mine before I leave Davao. Hahahaha! he's young, 21 I think, and he gives me the chills. He's oriental looking, and possess a jock type of body. (SHET). First time kong nakahawak ng jock type na body (aside from my cousin). Mas matigas yung katawan niya. Tapos yung muscles, Oh my God. Yung parang binata na physique na alam mong sipag na sipag sa physical work (he's a basketball player btw).

We were having drinks that night. And he was already giving me subtle hints that he would want to have sex with me (like teasing me, touching me, telling mean jokes like "lubuton taka ron") and the list would go on forever. Hahaha. Pero mahal si kuya. I spent at least 1000 pesos (for drinks and pulutan), just to get him to bed (F*CK).

Pero he's worth it. Ewan ko ba. I really like straight guys compared to gay guys. Physicality wise, mas 'into sports/physical activity' kasi ang straight men compared to gay men.

Eto ang "proof of purchase" ko oh. Look. Hahahaha 

I just gave him a BJ because he's dick is too thick. (masakit po). His dick kinda reminds me of my cousin thought, weird. Pero I noticed na everytime he was 'about to cum', he moves away or positions his body down (nakakulob). I don't know kung bakit ayaw nyang magka orgasm. So I just masturbated myself inside the bathroom 'para matapos na'. An also weird thing I observed is that he keeps on shifting his body towards and away from me. He also changes from "kulob position" to "hayang position", with legs wide spread. Di ko talaga sya ma gets.

Moving on, my laptop's watch tells me it's already 4:34PM. 2 hours and 30 more minutes to go before I go out of here. Pwede pa ako makipag flirt kay kuya na nasa labas. I think he's fixing an AC unit. Haha. I wanted to capture a sharp picture pero parang nahalata niya ako eh kaya yun. Eto lang yung nakuha ko. Hahaha. (I also can't believe that there's a parking lot behind this building)

This is me, davaokiddo, saying farewell to Davao City again. I had a great time, but my wallet hurts so bad. :) Till next time closet gays! Lovelots! And more power to us!

Email: davaokiddo@gmail.com

My 3rd HIV Testing Experience (with VIDEO)

There have been changes in the screening process of HIV in the HACT Clinic from the time that I had my testing there. (See: HIV Testing at HACT).

For one, they now conduct the 'extraction of blood' from the clinic itself. It's good because people can now discreetly withdraw blood for the test without risking their identity from too much exposure. But take note that they only do this in the morning, so if you come late and arrive at the afternoon, you'll have to go down to the laboratory and have your extraction there.

The nurse that extracted blood from me was a bit nervous. She couldn't find the vein (because of my fats XD). There was also a drop of blood on the table, which made me jumpy. She didn't even bother changing the gloves from the previous patient then back to me (because she said that any remnant of the virus would be dead in seconds when in contact with air) can any medical professional confirm this? At that point I wanted to go to the laboratory downstairs rather than letting an 'inexperienced' nurse inject a needle in my vein.

To proceed, she got three (3) vials necessary for the different tests to be conducted if the patient is a positive (reactive) or a negative (non-reactive). She also added that results can be given 2 hours after the procedure (as compared to the 2 days result last year).

After the extraction, she told me I can take my lunch, which I delightfully did (because I was so hungry) so, I took a ride going to Abreeza for lunch. I even met someone down the road. He was
really attractive (Robin Padilla aura), and a beefy body. Too bad I was taller than him though. Here he is.

After lunch, I went back inside the hospital to see if the results we're okay, and sure enough (God is good), I had another NR (Non-reactive) result again. "Thank you Lord".

I actually have a video of the whole process (sorry for my bad pronounciation/grammar). Through this, I hope people like me (closet gays) with no gay friends of other people to accompany them, look at this video as a guide on how to get to the clinic by themselves. Don't be afraid to get tested. :) It's always better to know your status.

By the way, if you want a disguise, a good example would be a photo shown below. The security wouldn't mind the facemask (maybe they got used to it, cause there are lots of people wearing masks).

This is davaokiddo, getting ready for tomorrow's event (Alcatraz Penal Bar, large LGBT event daw). Not sure how true is that. Not even sure if I'll come. To the people who are interested in accompanying me, you can always email me at davaokiddo@gmail.com.

Lovelots,

Davaokiddo

You can watch more here. Sorry for the bad video/audio/grammar etc. It's my first time to do this. At least you now know my voice. :)

CND: T Brothers

Hello my avid readers. Today I'm going to do another blog entry entitled CND: Crush Ni Davaokiddo. CND offers a wide array of my crushes (mostly in Davao). So if you're the investigative type, just check out my other posts labeled 'CND'.

As I was conducting my daily routine here in Davao (scrolling on my facebook newsfeed) I came across a post from a cousin of mine. She posted a picture from 5 years ago with his uberly handsome classmate (I think), which could also be his crush. So I did some digging and found many pictures from his profile that is worth sharing here on my blog. 

He's a moreno type of guy. Cute. Radiant personality. I actually met him in person back then. I wonder when would we meet again. LOL. Here he is..

T1

Notice the two photos? Back then he didn't have a tattoo, but now he has one. (on his right arm at the second photo) which kinda makes him look hot and matured, as compared to his young and cute face. He also gained weight. But he's still gwapo <3 <3.

He's also a basketball player in ADDU. Look.

I think a lot of ateneans know this guy. So if you're an atenean and reading this right now, kindly send my warmest regards to him - davaokiddo.

Next one in the spotlight is his relative (his brother I think). They have the same last name, although I'm not sure if they're brothers. Cousins maybe? They look similar kasi eh, so I assumed that they're brothers. Look :)

T2

Gwapo rin diba? Hahaha. Parang may pagka Derek Monasterio naman ang mukha nya. Yummy. Hahaha. Eto pa pic niya sa baba. Bugbog sarado. Pero gwapo pa rin!! :)

And lastly, a picture of him and his physique. :)

I'm pretty sure they're known in the upper class of people here in Davao. I also know that they attended private schools since elementary to college. 

Pwede na silang gawing bida sa pinoy version ng The Vampire Diaries dba? Stefan and Damon Salvatore? At ako si Elena. Hahaha. Peace out bros!

That's all for now folks! To all the closets out there, be sure to subscribe on my blog. :)

-davaokiddo (davaokiddo@gmail.com)

TIPS: Seducing a Straight Guy?

Disclaimer: This article is not for minors, so if you consider yourself a minor (in age and in attitude) then turn away from this page. Ang article po na ito ay NOT FOR KIDS.

Recently I searched the internet for an article relating on how to seduce straight men. This is because of the fact that I have a handful of hot and straight friends whom I have fantasies with, everytime I get horny! Whenever I'm at the workplace, or at home, I always have a handful of straight friends who keeps on giving me naughty fantasies...

Before proceeding with my tips, I'd like to remind everyone that having sex with straight guys is not about romance. Hindi makikipag sex sayo ang isang straight guy because he's attracted to you. Makikipag sex siya because of the following reasons:

• Baka na abuse sila sexually with a man during their younger years and they compulsively want to re-enact that event
• Baka iniisip nila na mas madaling makakuha ng sexual needs kung sa lalaki rather than sa babae
• Ginagawa din ng ibang mga straight guys ang pakikipag sex with gay men for 'financial reasons'
• Meron ding mga lalaki na mahilig sa anal sex na hindi nila nakukuha from girls kasi nahihiya silang i-open ito sa kanila.

So now that's cleared up, I wanna share with you my tips on how to get laid with a straight guy. Ewan ko ba kung bakit tayong mga gays would prefer straight guys. Maybe you're all thinking that I'm the effeminate type of gay, but in reality I'm not. Buki man gani ko manamit. Which is opposite if you're a gay guy. I guess I just happen to be a man (gay) who likes other men (straight). Let's start!! First thing on the list is:

BABALA: Hindi ibig sabihin na I'm giving away tips eh i apply niyo na sa lahat ng straight guys na makita niyo. Remember, we're still in the Philippines. And people have 'traditional views' for us gay men. So let's be responsible and keep our image 'clean and green' for society.

1) BEER (Pag may Alak, may Balak)

This is the most well known and proven approach in getting laid with guys. Just give him enough alcohol to make him tipsy and alter his judgement on morals and decision making. You're not forcing him to have sex (that's illegal), just provoke him by subtly touching his arms, gently whispering in his ear, grabbing his crotch 'accidentally', and by the time his feeling aroused, he wouldn't mind you giving him that pleasurable BJ. LOL!  It's true. I've done it with my cousin four (4) times already (and counting, see Incested Me). Or you could wait for him to pass out and touch him like Antonio did in the film (ANG LIHIM NI ANTONIO). I think that sums it up.

2) HORSEPLAYING IS A FORM OF FLIRTING

I'm not applying this method, but for some it works! I currently have a co-worker who does slight 'kulitan' and 'harutan' inside the office (and during office hours) with a really attractive guy. I have suspicions that he's gay (in the closet, like me), and it makes me jealous because he can pull stunts like that in public, while I cannot. He doesn't even bother having rumors about him being gay (he denies it all the time). Anyway, the point here is that you can actually do this to straight guys without them knowing that you are gay. If you continue doing this, you'll both be more open and be close with each other, to the point that he'll be comfortable taking showers with you or sleep with you on a single bed. ;)

3) WAG MASYADONG PAHALATA (Don't be too obvious)

Dapat nating tandaan na dapat hindi malaman ng mga straight guys na sini-seduce natin sila! Yan ang number one rule when seducing someone, mapa bakla ka man o straight. Sa moment na malaman niya na inaakit mo sya, ma tu-turn off yan at baka "manluod" pa siya sayo. And besides, we shouldn't put in his mind that all gay guys want is to get in his pants - please, wag na natin dagdagan ang social stigma na naka-attach sa mga gays.

If you really want him, just approach him with happiness, not with a look that says "Tara, sex tayo!". Dapat may poker face ka rin na nagsasabi na "Gusto ko lang maging friends tayo pare..." Seducing straight guys need patience. You need to let it build.

4) GIVE HIM AN IDEA

So... this obviously contradicts tip #3 right? Wrong! Haha. When I say "give him an idea", it means you have to give him sublte hints that you like him. For example. Wag na wag mong sasabihin na "Wow, kanindot sa imong abs oy!" - instead, ipakita mo sa kanya na tinitingnan mo yung abs niya, sabay sabi "Sus pre, kailangan jud nako na musabay ug gym sa imo ba!" In that method, his ego will be boosted up. Men likes to feel that they are superior. Give him that feeling.  - It's all in the show.

5) GUYS GIVE THE BEST

Tell him stories (in private or away from his friends) that guys give better head than girls. You can also tell him sexual adventures like: "Pare, nindot jud to ako na experience sa una ba" pero wag na wag mo sasabihin yung taong involved. In that way, pag may nangyari sa inyo, he would be confident that you wouldn't say 'his involvement' on the act.

If you're both alone and drunk, some say you can let your straight friend watch straight porn so that he gets aroused, then that's the time to gently touch him (don't jump directly to the prize!!). Just touch him in various parts of his body. Gentle massages also work (daw). If he ignores you touching him, then you can proceed with the master plan. YOLO.

6) PERFECTION

If all goes well, then give it your best shot! As in itodo mo na! Let him have the best experience of his life because that may be your 'first and last' experience with him. Or maybe, if you're good enough, you might even have a round 2. *wink*


That's all guys. Lovelots! And keep safe. :) Now before I go, I'll leave you a picture of Luke from Batangas and Luke from Davao. Hahaha. <3

(at Tamugan River)

A friend,

davaokiddo

email: davaokiddo@gmail.com