Japan vs Philippines

Hey there. It's been a week since my boyfriend and I have separated (geographically). It's hard for me since it's the first time that I have experienced having a relationship with the same sex, with an older guy (30), and long distance relationship..

I don't know why I love him. I think it's because of his angst. His "chuy chuy" aura. And the fact that he's chinito and beefy. A friend of mine (the only one that I've been sharing all about my secret personality) said: "Why him? You're pogi and he's.... nevermind" "Ngano siya? Kagwapo ra nimo..." And I always reply with a smile, saying: "Love lang jud nako siya". We had sex before he left. 3 times to be exact. Maybe that's the reason that I feel more connected with him. Not only did our body connect, but so did our souls. The only sad thing was that I never saw him leave Davao. He said he didn't want to see me because it would make him more depressed if he saw me cry "Masyado siyang assuming".

We have constant communication. We chat on facebook. But recently he was upset because I forgot to tell him that I would have drinks with my friends on DEQ at Saging Repablik (a restaurant with lots of good looking waiters).

I tried calling him several times. He wouldn't answer the call. I chat with him, and I only end up being 'seenzoned'. I don't know what else to do. As I said earlier, this is the first time that I have a relationship with the same sex. The mechanics are still unknown for me. It may be a difficult road ahead but one thing is for sure, "I love him.. With all of my heart". I've never felt something like this since like... forever.

I want to spend the rest of my life with him.. And I want him to know. I want him to feel the same way that I do.

This is davaokiddo, sharing my daily dilemmas in life.

Lovelots <3