Hi closets.
I’m proud to say that I am no longer in the stage of fear or
humiliation whenever someone confronts me about my sexuality, or when someone
knows that I am a homosexual/gay on first impression. I mean, I don’t shout it out
loud like others, saying (Hi Guys! I’m GAAAAAYY!!). No. I’m not like that. But
at least I now have the courage to talk and open up to people with the same
situation that I am going through.
In the distant past, I was the type of person who was always
worried whenever someone sees me as a homosexual. Eventually, I met a few
people (whom I now consider as friends) that made me realize that there’s
really nothing wrong about people knowing about your sexuality. They encouraged
me to do things in which I would never normally do (Don’t worry, they’re
actually a good influence to me). I enjoy being with their company. Eventually,
going out with them was a breeze. I felt comfortable being with them (unlike
before wherein I was always conscious of what people might say when I was seen
together with gays, closets, bi’s). It felt like I was part of something
greater, a feeling that I rarely felt being in the closet.
Along the way, I have upgraded myself (and still upgrading).
I wore clothes that better suited me. I also groomed in line with fashion
trends of maya (signature hair, shorts, etc), it’s not yet 100% but I’m getting
there, and I’ve also started posting pictures on facebook in which, a regular
person or someone with a strong gaydar would automatically shout out and say (My god, maya jud ni sya/ bayot jud ni sya ay).
I’m also a certified “pahilot customer”, I enjoy massages, especially the
sensual ones. I think that’s my fetish. Did you know that the most expensive
massage that I had was, I think around 400 pesos, lodging not included! LOL.
I am also planning to tell my girlfriend, rather my
ex-girlfriend, about this soon. I hope everything works out well. Maybe you’re
wondering why I would tell her. The simple answer would be that it’s because
she deserves to know. I’ve used her for almost a year just to cover myself and
my true sexuality, and in the process I’ve hurt her very much. In our
relationship, she was always crying and sad, while I was the one who didn’t
even care. This confession would help me release the guilt inside. I hope we’ll
stay as good friends soon.
On the other note, I’ve also started dating with people of
the same sex. I even had a boyfriend, but it didn’t last long (he was 30 years
old by the way). A friend of mine told me that in the ‘maya’ world, older men
would always seek guys on the same age bracket that I have now (17-21). The
logic is that mature men would look for someone young and fresh because it
compliments his maturity age. It’s like yin and yang. Moreno para sa Mestiso. Mabalbon para sa Makinis. Payat para sa Chubby.
Relationships like these usually last long, according to my friend. (I'll make a complete blog post about this soon).
I really hope that you, a closet, reading this, would soon
also have a friend you could share stories with. In my experience, having
someone closest to you and sharing intimate stories together makes life a
little more colorful than what you would expect.
I'm not sure if "mystery closet" is still the right term to use in my blog. But I started from being like this, so I think I won't change the name. If you want to have a talk, you can always send me a message at: davaokiddo@gmail.com
Lovelots guys. See you when I see you.
Lovelots guys. See you when I see you.
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