Basketball

Good day guys! It's me, davaokiddo.

Part of my new year's resolution is to be physically and mentally fit. And I'm taking the 'physically fit' part really seriously. Currently, I weigh 75 kg and my height is 5'7. I'm not that fat and I'm not too thin either. My body's just like every other typical guy, it's just that I dont have any form. (walang shape yung body kumbaga). I often get compared to a bamboo stick. Tall and straight. LOL.

I'm happy with myself. That's given. But this time, I want to do something for myself that would make me improve. Think of it as upgrading to another iOS or android software.

So because of my goal, I decided to go jogging, lifting weights, and going to the gym. So far I've seen some changes on my body. (But the beer belly's still there). It really helps if you push yourself beyond the limit. And the motto: NO PAIN NO GAIN is so true!

Aside from those things, I also tried one thing that I haven't tried since I was a kid. Play basketball. Yes. I've tried it just to blend in with my barkadas (which are all men, btw). T'was really fun playing the game. You can really feel your body heating up, plus you get to see those biceps, triceps, and abs that your buddies have in super close. Haha. Although I wasn't really showing good performance during the game, we still had a good laugh in the end.

Ngayong lang talaga ako nagka friends ng all straight males in a group, and all I can say is that I belong. Comparing it to my past experience (because I usually have female friends duing my highschool and college years), I would rather choose to be in the company of male friends. Wala kasing arte ang mga lalaki, at "happy lang walang ending" yung samahan. Males are also not the backstabber type of peopl, they have each other's back in troublesome times. Basta, maraming benefits (like seeing your friend's penis in the shower because they wouldn't mind), plus you'll enjoy life more if you have male friends. Heck, if I was given a chance to undo a mistake of the past, then I'd rather go out with male friends rather than girl friends. Urrgh. All those wasted years. LOL. I truly wish that there is truth in this reincarnation myth.

Today's January 31, and I'll be in Davao this February 6. So excited to go back home! :) See you later closets.

Lovelots,

Davaokiddo (davaokiddo@gmail.com)

CND: Paolo

Good day readers. Today's December 31, 2015 and today's the day we celebrate new year's eve. :). Kamusta na ang noche buena niyo jan guys? Today I'm going to feature one of my online/virtual crushes that I recently discovered on facebook.

I found out that he and I has 47 mutual friends and that he was once a student in the university where I graduated. I also think that he's part of my batch although I don't know what course he takes or if he is already a graduate, because his facebook account doesn't tell that much about him.

Crush ko siya kasi isa sya sa mga unique na guys na makikita mo eh. Rare ka lang kasi makakita ng guy na maputi pero malakas at lalake pa rin yung dating! He embodies what my type of boyfriend would be like if I choose to have a mestizo one over moreno. Hahaha.

I also have a fetish over men with large/meaty builds as compared to super thin ones. :) My god! He is heaven. Hahahaha. Without further ado, I present you guys: Paolo.

Those biceps! fjsnnnfknf!! Maka fall man ni sya oy!! Hahaha <3

Hmmnn. Ulalaaaaam. Hahaha :)

Him at the gym. Hahaha! 

Sarap siguro nya yakapin. Laki ng shoulders niya oh. Grabe siya oh. :')

Oh baka nabasa na yung mga ano niyo jan. hahaha! Shet!

Btw, I' currently using my Grindr and Planet Romeo app and surprisingly, so quiet ang mga tao ngayon. LOL! But there are still some na nag cha chat. Haha.

Four days to go I'll go back to my workplace. I hate leaving Davao. But recently I've discovered
 an opportunity to work here again. Hope that next year's gonna be the time when I finally work here.

This is davakiddo, signing out.


P.S. You can always email me if you have something to share at davaokiddo@gmail.com

Lovelots. <3 HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! 

Murdering My Hair

My laptop says it's 11:36pm. It's late but I'm still here facing my laptop. (Don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing). Anyway, I just arrived in our home this afternoon because I was having my 'annual reunion/outing' with friends from school.

Before I start this post, I think I haven't shared with you guys my current hairstyle. It's actually long. I've been growing it for sometime now. I had an undercut haircut before but now my hair looks like this (minus the stubble and the fair skin).

After I achieved that wonderful looking hair, I suddenly noticed more people telling me that I look like a girl. For my part, I don't find this offensive. It actually makes me laugh whenever someone pops up things like that to me in person. It may be because I have a feminine face, and my actions are quite reserved sometimes. Even waiters at restaurants would casually mistake me for a girl whenever they look at me from the back. (In all honesty I consider this as an asset and not a liability). 

Next point. Here comes the deal. My father also noticed this sudden change, (at which point I created reasons just to explain why I decided to have long hair). The reasons were 'reasonable' for the past months but now, my father told me something that concerned me a while ago..

He told me that I should have a f*cking haircut. Shet naman. I love my hair. I've grown this for months and now he just wants it cut-off? :(

I would really like to keep it, because aside from the fact that it's new to my face (I always have an undercut haircut), it also gives my personality a sweet touch.

But now I suffer in crossroads. Should I cut my hair and follow my dad's orders? Or should I just let it go and never attempt to go at parlors/barbershops.

Oh my god when will I have a life of my own where I am not dictated by people surrounding me.. It's sad to be me. :(

My HIV Testing Experience

I wanna make this post to feel as close to home as possible, so I'll just use 'tagalog' for the general public or 'masa' would better understand.

October 20, 2015. Tuesday.

Ito talaga yung second time na magpapatest ako for HIV. Hindi ko alam kung na post ko na noon or na mention sa mga posts ko before pero I really had my first HIV Test at Davao Doctor's Hospital. Grabe yung charge doon as compared sa SPMC (Southern Philippines Medical Center) which offers free HIV testing.

Para sa mga baguhan palang sa mundo ng HIV Testing, may dalawang types po yan. First is yung ELISA Test at yung pangalawa ay Western Blot Test. Sabi nila, if mag positive daw yung result mo sa ELISA Test then that's the time na they will conduct another test, which is the Western Blot, to confirm kung accurate talaga yung positive result na lumabas. But if the ELISA Test shows a negative result, then it is safe to say that you are truly negative of the HIV Virus.

BTW, yung terminology pala ng result is REACTIVE(Positive) and NON-REACTIVE(Negative). You should always remember that when you go for a regular testing if you're frequently into sex. Especially for M2M's or people that doesn't practice safe sex (e.g. wearing of condom).

Back to the story. Sumakay ako ng Jeep from Ateneo to DMC/SPMC. Nagbayad ng 8 pesos at bumaba sa SSS. Magkatabi lang kasi yung SSS at yung DMC/SPMC so I decided to walk. Baka kasi hindi na ako makatawid kung doon talaga ako sa crossing bumaba. Naglakad ako despite the heat of the sun. Doon na ako lumiko sa isang entrance nila malapit sa 7 eleven na store, tapos sa maniwala kayo't sa hindi, inikot ko yung buong compound para makita ko talaga kung nasaan yung SPMC na building. To help you save time, dito dapat kayo pumasok na building:

So yun. Basang-basa ako sa aking pawis na naglakad papasok sa building. Nakikita niyo ba yung orange na taxi sa picture? Jan kayo banda pumunta kasi nanjan yung entrance papunta sa HACT (HIV - AIDS Core Team) Clinic.

Pagpasok ko, timing may guard na humarang sa akin. Sabi niya, hindi daw visiting hours ng mga patients nung time na yun. Sabi ko naman, may pupuntahan akong clinic. As in hindi niya talaga ako pinapasok. If ever na mangyari din na hindi nya kayo papasukin (if you have plans), you should just say na sa HACT kayo pupunta. Pag maririnig nila yung HACT na word, alam na nila kung saan at ano ang pakay mo sa hospital na yun. But don't be alarmed, alam naman nila ang protocol regarding privacy etc2.

Pagpasok ko sa hospital, dumaan ako sa staircase nila (as in yung unang staircase na makikita niyo pagpasok niyo). After that, may nakita akong isang napakahaba na corridor. So yun naglakad ako at nakita ko na nga yung HACT Clinic. The only problem going inside this clinic is that you'll be seen by lots of employees in the medical profession. May kaharap kasi siyang counter na full of nurses etc2. So advisable talaga na magsuot ka ng face mask, at shades if possible para di ka talaga makilala. Mas worst especially sa mga tao na well known on social networking sites or on social media..

Nung nakapsok na ako sa loob, I saw lots of people. Men. Ranging from teens to their mid-years. Yung iba nakasuot ng facemask, yung iba naman wala. May nakita nga rin akong bata na mahahalata mo talagang gwapo. Maputi, tsaka yung mata eh parang may lahi na kastila. lol.. Naka facemask sya so hanggang imagination nalang ako sa over-all look niya.

Yung mga staff/crew ng clinic na yun was so accomodating. Grabe. I felt like I was part of the family back there. Sobrang happy lang sila.. Happy lang walang ending. Before you take the test, may mag iinterview muna sayo tapos may i fill-upan ka na form. Tatanungin ka regarding your sexual history, kung may mga sakit ka na din ba na na encounter before (e.g. gonorrhea "tulo"). Kailangan HONEST to goodness ka talaga sa mga answers mo during this stage. They're really not judgemental. Very accomodating sila. :)

After consultation, may ibibigay sila na form tapos papupuntahin ka sa laboratory (which is ISO certified pa). Tapos dun na nila i co-conduct yung blood sampling. Just be careful din pala kasi nung pumunta na ako sa lab, may nakakilala sa akin na isang med tech student. He was having his OJT there. Sh*t! I panicked and went outside. Tapos may humabol sa akin na isang medtech (senior ata nila), and sabi nya hindi daw ako mag-alala kasi siya lang daw ang nakakita nung sheet na dinala ko (it was a checklist type of form na binigay sakin from HACT clinic, na naka check yung "for ELISA testing" something). He continued by saying na maghintay lang daw ako ng 4:00 kasi lalabas at mag o-out din yung nakakilala sa akin na medtech OJT.

So yun, naghintay ako, then after 4:00pm I went back. I was happy kasi he "The medtech guy" already realized what was happening. I felt touched kasi hinabol niya pa talaga ako sa labas. It shows that he is concerned about my status. Kumuha nga sya ng blood sa akin without wearing any gloves, proving that he is not like the others na grabe maka discriminate sa mga PLU (People Like Us), to the  point na pati pag hawak ng kamay ng isang HIV positive na tao eh hindi pa magawa.

Pagkatapos niyang kunin yung blood sample ko, sinabihan niya ako na may dalawang outcomes lang daw yung result. Either positive (reactive), or negative (non-reactive). Malalaman ko raw kung negative ako kung yung result eh lalabas ng after 2 days.. Then kung positive, it would take 5 days pa daw kasi mag coconduct pa sila ng isang test to make sure na hindi sila nagkamali sa initial result.


October 23

So, after 2 days of waiting, they texted me na kailangan ko raw pumunta sa hospital kasi may result na dumating. by that time I already knew that I was HIV negative. And it made that day one of the happiest days of my life (again).

So there you go. Rough guide lang yung description ko on 'knowing your status'. If you already had sex, I urge you to take the test too. Kasi it's better talaga kung alam natin yung status natin ASAP para maagapan so that it wouldn't lead to AIDS (if ever we're positive).

Kaya ikaw jan, yes ikaw, na nakaupo/nakahiga with your laptop/desktop/anroid phone/iphone mo. Always remind yourself that there's still someone who cares, but no one really cares for you better than yourself. Urge yourself to get tested, because that's a sign that you truly LOVE YOURSELF. Sabi pa nila, how can you love someone if you don't love yourself? :))

Kung may mga tanong kayo regarding sa HIV Testing sa Davao, please don't hesitate to contact me through my e-mail: davaokiddo@gmail.com

Mixed signals

Urrgh. I really want to share this to someone I know, but I guess he's busy right now so I intend to share it with you all. This is about my crush, here on my workplace.

We can call him Mr. C. He's ahead of me when it comes to age. Married with two kids (boys). And he frequently invites me to drink most of the time (At which point, I willingly agree, because he's hot hahaha). You can see my other post because this refers to the same person. (Crushing On Me)

In terms of physical features, he would pass out as a mexican/hispanic type of guy. He has hazel brown eyes, longish dark brown hair, light skin that turns light brown when he is exposed to sunlight, and has a meaty body (not thin, but not too big either). He has a defined chest which really makes a turn on for me. The only thing that should have completed the package was his height (because I'm taller than him).

Maybe that's also the reason why I am having difficulty in seducing/finding a straight mate, it's because of my height. But I go both ways. If I can see that the guy is manlier in movement and in looks than me, I would be a bottom for him. But if I find an attractive guy whose clearly showing signs of "femininity" then I would be a top for him. Strange eh? Hahaha.

Anyway back to the story. Whenever Mr. C and I go out for a drink, and whenever he is encountering 'tipsiness', he tends to open up things about me. He's saying statements like:
Mura jud kag babae ug nawong ba (You really look like a girl)
Bayot ba jud ka? (Are you gay?)
Haha.. Tug-an nalang gud (Just say it already)

Last night, it even got to the point wherein he is doubting my gender preference in front of my other friends who was watching a movie! (Because we were already drinking hours before, and he was already drunk). He's saying statements like: Unsa man jd imong tan-aw sa iya, bayot sya o dili. (When you look at him, do you think he's gay). He told this to my girl friend, at which point she replied: Dili man.. Ngano diay? Unsa'y point nimo (No. I don't think so. What's your point?) It got to the point that their voices grew louder and many people were noticing because they were arguing about me, about my gender preference, which kinda offends me when I think about it now. My girl friend was pretty clear when she told him that she doesn't think of me as gay, but Mr. C insists that
she was lying, that she sort of protects me and that she is not honest in her answer. It hurt me so bad.

During their conversation, until the finish, I finally realized what Mr. C's point was. His point was that he wants a friend whom he knows he can trust. He wants to be friends with me, but how can he trust, if he feels/knows that I am not honest with myself? That was the point that he was trying to imply.

This is the turning point of everything that I've ever built. I mean, we've known each other for awhile, and yet he still feels that I am gay. God! What's wrong with me?! Maybe this feminine face gives it away? Huhu. I don't know. Should I tell him the truth? That I am indeed gay? If I do this, I may not have the assurance of him being close to me anymore. Maybe he would try to avoid me then. Or he would continue being close to me because he is secretly gay too?

But if I stay this act, on being straight, we can still continue to  be close, and share intimate stories with each other, but he would always try to go back to the point on doubting my gender preference.

It's a sad day indeed. And it's about to rain. I don't know what to do anymore. huhuhu. Can you give me advices on how to do this? Just email me on: davaokiddo@gmail.com

The not feeling well human,

Davaokiddo

P.S. I'll leave you with a quote I got from Sense8.

"The real violence, the violence I realized was unforgivable, is the violence that we do to ourselves, when we’re too afraid to be who we really are. - Nomi"

Crushing On Me?

Hello. It's currently evening here, and I'm currently at the office creating my blogpost. (Talk about being secretive)

It's been a year since I was employed in this place. A place far from Davao City. With all the good things that came, there were also the bad. In here I experienced things that I would not even dream of doing when I was in Davao. Thinks like doing dr*gs or excessively drinking liquor (I'll share this on another post). I'm not denying these things, nor would I be ashamed of it. Because it helped me become who I am now. It became a part of my life. Like pieces of leaves on a large tree.

Over-all, this place is aca-awesome! It helped me be the person that I wanna be. (not totally), but slowly and surely, I will come there. As I look back on my first year here, I realize that I am beginning to show the real me slowly to the public, to faces that I am not familiar with. Which is a good thing.

I even get to have crushes here on the company where I work in., and I'm having doubts if he has feelings for me too. And I need your advice my dear readers. Here goes the story.

There's this guy. Shorter than me, beefy/stocky, with long hair (not too long like tommy's hair on PBB), pinkish-tanned skin, and hazel eyes (brown, not black), freckles on the face, and a goatee. Basta. You get the picture. He's looks like he has spanish/mexican roots when you first look at him.

During my earlier days working here, I observed that he always takes a good look at me. He's like examining me from head to toe. He's always 'masungit' and 'mayabang' at first, but he's an approachable person. When he walks and talks, it's like testosterone is gushing out from his body like an aura when goku transforms into a super sayan.

As months pass by, I started to talk to him comfortably. We would exchange jokes, have casual conversations regarding work, and he often invites me to play basketball (a sport where I always regretted not playing during my childhood years). Everytime we meet, I couldn't help but stare at his amazing eyes. And his voice is uber manly. His over-all physique would suffice his lack in the height department. But you know what they say, it's not on how tall a guy is. What matters most is the length of the 'other' thing. Hahahaha.

Fastforward, October 2015. When we meet, he always touches me jokingly on the nipples and gives me that stare. He'll do this even on public, which somehow keeps me alert enough to keep my guard up and not let the closet reveal itself. Recently, he also teases me that  I am gay. Statements like: "Haha. Nagchange naman yan si *insert name here*. Lalaki naman ang kanyang gusto" following a very hilarious laugh and a meaningful stare in front of other people. I usually take this as a joke and then go with the flow, but I admit, sometimes it annoys me, to the point that I don't talk to him some days.

Following this narrative, there are three possible reasons why he is acting this way.  (just my hypothesis)

First: The most common reason of all. He is homophobic. He hates gays and he actually enjoys the pleasure of ridiculing me in public because an unknown source is telling him that I am gay. Maybe he had an unfortunate experience way back when he was young, molested by a gay? I don't know.

Second: He likes me and wants to befriend me. I remind him of a long time friend or brother. Friendzoned much?!

Third: The least likely reason of all, which I still consider. He has a secret crush on me. I know it sounds so absurd and silly but I really feel a small spark. (But maybe I'm just too delusional). It is important to note that this guy has a wife and two lovely kids.
If he's not crushing on me, then maybe he secretly desires to have s*x with me? My God. What am I saying (LOL).

I don't really know how to deal with this situation, but I am sure of one thing. All good things come to those who wait. So I think I'll just wait this out and further evaluate the situation. If there are advices there, anyone! You can always email me at davaokiddo@gmail.com.


Seriously though, if you are one of my readers, do not be afraid to email me sometimes. It's not that hard. What's hard is encoding and posting your life events on blogger and feel that no one is even reading it.

Peace out! Lovelots!

-davaokiddo

The Day I Met Mr. N

Remember my blogpost about the half-foreign guy I accidentally met on Planet Romeo (Look Here)? Well, I actually met him on the flesh! My GOD! Here is what happened that time.

Because I was tired from walking around SM looking for the best headset replacement for my damaged one (Coloud headset), I decided that it was time to head for Starbucks and reward myself a Javachip Frappuccino. As I was happily sipping the "not-so" delicious drink (because I prefer The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf compared to Starbucks), I suddenly decided to text Mr. N and then, he miraculously replied! After ump-teen years!


Me: Hey, wanna come over at SM to meet me?
N: Uhm, only if you want to have sex with me.
Me: What the F? Are you serious with what you are saying?
N: Yes. So you wanna do it or not?
Me: You know what, I really thought you are a different person. Now I slowly see a clearer picture of you. And I am not liking it.
N: Haha. Alam mo para kang babae. Arte mo.
Me: You haven't even seen me in person. Maybe you wouldn't like me. Well, let's just see each other in person today and then we decide with what we do after, okay?
N: Okay..

And there it was. As quick as that, we decided to see each other. He said he would be at the Worlds Of Fun (WOF) playstore, so I immediately went when he told me he was already at the location.

He was playing the dance station, with the arrows oriented like the letter "X". He was dancing that time, and I stood behind him, not indicating my presence. After he played, he searched around the area, and then he saw me. He was smiling, and admiring my height. LOL. I really thought we had the same height, turns out I was a few inches taller than him.

His face looks jewish, or syrian. He had this pale skin and thick eyebrows and hair. Parang yung sa mga egyptian/arabo lang na tao. Ganun yung beauty nya. Thick but shaped eyebrows, curved eyelashes, stubble, and pale skin. In short, attractive 'para sa akin'.. :)

He then invited me to a karaoke bar still inside WOF and together we sang songs and discussed things etc2. Here's a picture of him singing a tagalog song which, he sang awkwardly because of his diction. hahaha.

Below is a picture of him while singing.

We then went to his boarding house which was near SM Ecoland. And then we talked about nice things. I discovered that he's a good person pala. He told me that he doesn't really engage in sex with random people. He just chose me because I am resistant and he felt that I was good. etc2. He also adviced stuff about relationships. He told me that when you start doubting your partner, that's the time that one of you doesn't equally love the other person. He told me that when trust is broken, it's like a shattered glass. Sure you can fix it, but it would never look the same as it looked before. He also told me he is a chic magnet. And take note: He had three girlfriends! But he still prefers to be with guys. He's a bottom by the way. 

So then again, after our conversation, we went back to our topic. SEX. He asks me if I am trimmed, he asked me if I was a top, If I wanted with or without a condom, etc2. Then I went back to the assumption that all this guy wants of me is to have sex. To feel the pleasure.

What should I do guys? Would I agree or no? Hahaha. I mean, I want to get to know him more, but I don't really know. The urges are starting again. Hmn. Maybe I should think this through.

Anyway, you can always give me advices on my email: davaokiddo@gmail.com

Lovelots to all the PLU's out there.

-davaokiddo