When Two Discreets Meet

This day is officially added on my list as one of the "worst days on record"! Urgh! I'm still shaking because of the anger that I feel right now. The story goes like this.

I'm completely doing my daily routine, doing household chores, watching movies on TV or my laptop (if you know what I mean), and of course, socializing on my gay app. As I was browsing the "guys near you" list, someone messaged me like this: (Sa ____ ka talaga nakatira?). Thinking that he would go to my area, I quickly responded: (Oo. Dito ako sa _________. Bakit magpunta ka??). I was so excited because I thought he was heading to our place when suddenly he responded like this: (Ah, magkita nalang tayo sa ______). I was like, huh? What if he was a POSER!? And I would risk my safety if I go to an unfamiliar place. This certain guy chatted me long before and I can feel that he was also like me, a SUPER DISCREET GUY. So I told him: (Oh, akala ko kasi papunta ka dito.. lol.) The conversation continued doubting each other's profile pictures and formulating methods on how to prove each other's face. Then I told him what I learned when I was in Manila recently.

"You can prove someone's identity on a social app by making him take a picture of himself holding a piece of paper and writing on it your username. "
So I told him to do that, but he declined, worrying that his picture might be seen by many users on the gay app. He suggested instead that we both exchange our instagram accounts with our privacy turned on, so that when I try to follow him, he can immediately identify and see my account. His plan was pure genius because in that way, he will know that someone is legit or not by viewing the number of POSTS, FOLLOWERS, and FOLLOWING list on the account. It was a dead end. I would not risk giving my account on him.  For a split second I imagined the amount of damage it would do to my future career.My social status would be shattered if someone knew I was gay. And so was he. What interests me of him is that we are both alike. We are so cautious when it comes to revealing identities. And we are both aware of the consequences that would follow when doing the wrong move.

I had to say no. So I told him "No. Baka next time nalang siguro." And just like that, we bid each other goodbye, not knowing when our next conversation will be.

I hate being like this. I hate hiding. I want to reveal myself, but if I do, my world would be torn to pieces. Why can't the world accept us for what we are? Why, of all the places, was I born here? On a country where homosexuality and bisexuality is treated as a disease?! How many years should I wait for the country to accept PLU's? When?

Char. Nagdrama ako. LOL. Alisin na ang negativity! I'd have to live like this until kaya ko pa. Well, that's it for now guys. If you have something to share with me, you can email me at davaokiddo@gmail.com. Stay safe everyone. Lovelots.

Davaokiddo